Drama Never Dies
by eternal-lie
Summary: Just when things have settled down, drama flares again in South Park. Vicki's not putting out, Wendy's freaking out, Cartman's possibly getting out... and Butters might have a thing for a lawyer? Rated M for language and a little smut.
1. One

**Ever have an idea that just won't leave you alone? This is what happens when one of those ideas meets the completely useless course known as Statistics. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Does something seem missing to you?"

Kyle glanced around. He and Stan were playing videogames in the Marsh family living room on a Friday morning, a week after school had let out for the summer. In the kitchen, Sharon Marsh was cleaning up dishes from breakfast, and humming to herself absent-mindedly. Randy was at work, and Shelly was upstairs messaging her 'boyfriend'. "Well... Cartman's not here annoying the shit out of us."

They were almost used to that by now; it had been almost six months since he'd been sent to Juvie for nearly killing Vicki. Things had been going as expected with him, according to Butters, but they still had some worrys that he would charm the parole board into letting him out without being properly rehabilitated. Vicki wasn't looking forward to testifying at the hearing that would be coming up, but Kenny was more than ready to bash Cartman into the ground...

"Kenny and Vicki aren't here." Stan said suddenly. "Usually they've wandered in by now." Wandered in was exactly the way to describe it. They would usually come right in without even knocking, plunk down on the couch, and watch them play whatever game they had on, before losing focus and ending up making out on the couch like they did everywhere else. Sometimes, they'd start getting a little too heavy and then one of them would have to remind them where they were and who they were with. But it wasn't too much of a problem...

"They probably just decided to try something new, and Kenny can't get out of the leather suit or whatever." Kyle said dismissively. "Give them an hour or two and they'll show up."

Stan frowned at him. "Okay, I think you need to lay off the porn for a bit, Kyle. I don't even want to know _why_ Kenny would be in a leather suit."

"Vicki likes sexual guys, and if I want a shot with Vicki, I need to know sex at least half as well as Kenny."

"Meanwhile, Wendy and I just graduated to making out for fifteen minutes."

Kyle couldn't help it. "Do you still barf on her afterwards?"

He ducked the controller that went whizzing by his head and crashed into the back of the couch.

"I think we should go make sure they're alright."Stan said calmly, as if he hadn't just chucked a game controller at his best friend."I know Cartman's locked up, but someone else may have it in for them. NAMBLA and NAMGLA may have joined forces to kidnap the most sexually active kids in South Park." The North American Man/Boy Love Association had grown enough to open up a sister organization; the North American Man/Girl Love Association, so that both pedophile types were represented. Because sick bastards needed representation.

"You do know you sound like Tweek when you say stuff like that, right?"

"Better to sound crazy and paranoid than have my friends raped."

Kyle could see it was a losing battle. "If you want to go look for them in the tree house, fine. But don't hold me responsible for walking in on major kink."

They packed up the game, and headed off down the road to Stark's Pond. "Have you ever wondered if maybe they've been faking it the whole time?" Stan asked suddenly. "That they're not just up there playing monopoly like normal kids?"

"Yeah, but then I remember that day we were hiding from Cartman, and they kicked me out for a quickie. Believe me, those noises were real." Kyle couldn't help but smirk at the look of disgust on Stan's face. "You really don't get sex, do you?"

"How is sticking your dick into some chick, then having cum come out of it and into her, not gross?"

"When you put it that way, it does sound kinda gross." He admitted. "But it's biologically in us to do it. That's how the species survives."

"And sticking your face between a girl's legs so you can tongue-fuck her?"

"... Some guys like Kenny are just weird."

Reaching the tree house, Stan did the honours of announcing their arrival. "YOU GUYS UP THERE?"

Kenny's head popped out of the trap door. "Yeah."

"You decent?"

Vicki joined Kenny. "Define decent."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Are we going to be scarred for life by Kenny's scrawny ass if we come up there?"

Beside him, Stan whispered. "What about Vicki?"

"Are you _really_ going to complain if Vicki's naked, Stan? _Really?_"

"Kenny's ass is covered, and I'm not naked, so yeah, we're decent enough." She replied, oblivious to the side exchange. "C'mon up."

Climbing into the tree house, they were assaulted by the smells of musk and sweat. "Dude, you guys need to clear this place out." Stan complained, cracking open one of the plexi-glass windows.

"Like I've said before, I didn't build this place as a social club." Kenny grumbled, pulling a t-shirt over his head, and messing up his dark blonde hair even worse than before. "In fact, I'm thinking of enforcing a 'No Pants' rule."

Vicki smacked him upside the head. "You are such a dick sometimes. I think it would be good to actually spend some time with our friends. I mean, we can fuck at three in the morning, but we can't play basketball."

Kenny looked mildly annoyed. "But what about that thing we were working on?"

Vicki glanced at the other two. "It can wait. We have time for that."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Kyle couldn't help asking.

"Shouldn't some things be between two consenting persons?" She responded loftily.

"Well, you don't exactly keep your sex between the two of you." Stan snorted. "If I have to hear one more word from Wendy about what you two 'do that we should think of doing someday' I will punch my eardrums out with ballpoint pens."

"Alright, and when she finally gets things going between you two, you will love me for life."

The look of mingled disapproval and nervousness on his face was enough to make Kyle laugh. "Dude, when did you become the uptight one?"

"Oh, you think you're so cool and comfortable with sex, Kyle, just because you read Playboy?" Kenny teased. "Do you even know what BDSM is?"

"Do _you_?"

At this, a perverted grin crept across not his, but Vicki's face. "Do you want to find out, Kyle?"

He felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. He knew, and the idea of Vicki tying him up, whipping him, dominating him, was... hot as hell. But the fact was that she was Kenny's girlfriend, and that meant off limits unless he wanted to lose his friends' respect. Goddamnit... "Not everyone's kinky, Vicki. Some of us like plain old vanilla."

"Poor unlucky bastards you are, too." Kenny grinned, slinging his arm around his shoulders. "So, who's up for a game of basketball?"

_****************************************This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us*****************************************_

Butters sat down at the table across from Cartman with a sigh. Every week since he'd gone to Juvie, he had come to visit him out of both the kindness of his heart, and concern that he might go even more crazy than before. Usually the visits were either spent in near silence, or listening to Cartman's ranting about 'how that bitch had set him up'. That bitch being Vicki, or course

"Hey Butters." Cartman sighed. "Anything new going on in Shit Park?"

"W-well school's been let out, and everyone's real excited about it. Kenny and Vicki have been so excited about it, we haven't seen much of them for the past week. I don't know where they go, or what they do, but they sure do like to have an awful lot of time alone together."

The fat prisoner snorted. "They go out to the woods to fuck, Butters. Don't you know that? They go out there, to wherever they set up camp, get naked, then Vicki spreads her legs like the whore she is, and then Kenny takes his dick and shoves it into her. That's what they've been doing all week. That's what they've been doing for six goddamn months while I rot in this dump."

Butters glanced over at the guards, who were usually listening to every word they said, and normally would have given Cartman a warning by now. But today they were preoccupied with a young couple who were getting close to violating the visitation rule about no making out. "Eric, I think maybe you should let it go. It's not like Kenny was her first—that was her dead boyfriend, Matt. I was so surprised when I learned that, because Vicki's very sweet, but then again just because you like to express your love physically doesn't mean you have to be like a pervert like Kenny."

"'Express your love physically'? _That's_ what you think they're doing? Vicki is nothing more than Kenny's cum slut who only feels good about herself when she has someone pounding into her pussy, and Kenny only sees her as a pair of open legs. _THEY DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER!_"

That caught the guards' attention. "That's it, visit with your little boyfriend's over, Cartman, back to your cell." One of them growled, while another grabbed him by the collar of his orange jumpsuit, and dragged him out of the visiting room. Butters stood and left of his own accord. After listening to that, he knew it would be best if he testified at the parole hearing, and not in Cartman's favour like he'd planned to. The poor guy was still loony-tunes, and not the good kind like Bugs Bunny. He'd go to the meeting with the Deputy District Attorney the others had told him about tomorrow...

_**************************************It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust**************************************_

Kenny watched his girlfriend shooting hoops against Stan, and couldn't help but wonder where they were going. The last week had been lots of sneaking her out of her house, and strolling into his at three in the morning. Not to mention being practically inseparable all day long. But today Vicki was talking about spending time with their friends, and maybe even having a girls' night with Wendy and Bebe, while he and the guys hung out and did whatever guy stuff they'd done before...

Was it she wanted to put a little distance into their relationship? Was she thinking about breaking up? Kenny didn't really know; they'd stopped really talking about that kind of thing the last week of school. That was when it had really started into the 'fucking all the time' phase. It was almost like they didn't really know what else to do with each other. And even his testosterone saturated brain knew that was how relationships ended.

Kyle sat down on the bench beside him, taking a long pull of his water bottle. "You know, I think Vicki's been the best thing that's ever happened to you, dude."

"What makes you say that?"

"You're not covered up with that goddamn parka of yours all the time. The girls didn't even know what you looked like before, but now... people can actually see you."

It was true; he'd started wearing his parka less and less as the months wore on, and now with the addition of the summer warmth... he didn't plan on wearing it at all. "I don't really know why I wore it in the first place. I mean, besides the fact that it was the only warm thing I owned."

"Maybe it was a security thing, to keep people away. No one could hurt you if they didn't get close to you."

Kenny shrugged. "Maybe."

He felt a sudden urge to tell Kyle that things weren't as great as they seemed with him and Vicki. That the closer they got physically, the further apart they were emotionally. But guys didn't talk about their relationships; girls did. Guys talked about... "I think Vicki kinda wants to be the first girl you have sex with."

"What?"

"She talks about how you deserve someone who'll be able to give you the best, and someone you trust. I know you like her, and I know you trust her, and I know she knows it too. But I don't know if I should tell her to drop the idea. I mean, the idea of sharing my girlfriend kinda pisses me off, but I want her to do whatever makes her happy, and if that's a fuck with someone else, I would rather have it be one of my best friends, you know?"

Kyle was staring at him with wide eyes. "Let me get this straight; your girlfriend wants me to fuck her before any other girl, and you're on the fence about it because you want her to be happy?"

"Yeah."

"So then tell her no."

Kenny blinked. "Tell her no?" Kyle wanted him to tell Vicki not to fuck him? What sort of red-blooded male was he? And how was that supposed to make her happy?

"I don't care _that_ much about getting laid, dude," Kyle explained. "But I do care about my friends. You guys are good together, and I know you make Vicki happy dude—she doesn't need me. And I don't need her to be the one."

He was one hell of a good friend. "Thanks dude."

"Thanks for what?"

"For not being like me. If it was your chick who wanted to fuck me, I'd be all over her so fast, it'd make your head spin."

The red-head's eye twitched slightly. "Good to know."

Vicki and Stan chose that moment to join them at the bench. Vicki smirked at them. "You guys gonna play, or sit on your asses?"

"Eh, it's more Kyle's game than mine." Kenny grinned up at her. "In fact, I think I should go check on Karen. I'll probably find her chewing on the carpet for something to eat while Mom's at work and Dad drinks himself to death."

"Alright" Vicki leaned down to kiss him. "Go be a good big brother, while I kick Kyle's ass, and I'll stop by later."

Before he'd even left the court, Vicki and the boys were back to shooting hoops, her shrieking laughter ringing out above the sound of the ball hitting the pavement. It was a strange sound—they'd hardly been apart since getting together six months before. Mostly because they felt safer together, and considering that he'd only died twice since they'd met...

But they had to wake up from the honeymoon phase one day, and maybe that day was today. Maybe this was where the possibility of breaking up would even cross their minds. Just because they were together now, didn't mean they would always be. Things could happen, whether it was Kyle coming between them, or the parole hearing, or something else. It couldn't really last forever.

**

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R&R?


	2. Two

**It's 3 am in the morning...and I love Burger King's Chicken BLT salad. Just putting that out there.  
BTW I think somewhere along the line, Stan contracted vaginitis again. But read for yourself.**

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"Stan, do you think I'm attractive?"

Stan stared at his girlfriend; where had that come from? They were hanging out together at his house; his dad was the only other person home, but upstairs working on something for work... or more likely playing World of Warcraft. They were in the living room, half-watching a movie.

"Of course I do; why'd you ask?"

Wendy sighed. "I was just thinking that you never try to make any moves, and it's taken us a long time to get up to where we are, and sometimes I wonder... I wonder if maybe you don't want to have sex with me."

Oh no. Now Wendy was on the sex thing too? "Wendy, we're not even eleven years old yet." He reminded her.

"That certainly hasn't stopped Vicki and Kenny." She muttered.

"Yeah, but they were ready. Hell, they were ready after knowing each other a grand total of five days. Would you want to have sex with someone you met five days ago?" Stan asked, annoyed. Why did everyone have to compare him and Wendy to Kenny and Vicki? "No, you wouldn't."

"You and I have known each other since we were in preschool, Stan. We've been going out for over a year."

What was he supposed to tell her? Usually it was the boyfriend pressuring his girl for sex, not the other way around. But then again... "Is it that you want it as proof I love you?"

Wendy nodded. "Like I said, Vicki and Kenny—"

"Vicki and Kenny don't really do much else together. They don't sit and have meaningful talks like this. They don't really go out anywhere either. I love you Wendy, and I don't need to have sex with you to prove that."

She regarded Stan with a rather unreadable expression, before leaning in and kissing him softly. "I love you too Stan."

He was glad they'd sorted that out. Going back to watching the movie, Stan couldn't help but notice Wendy was frowning slightly. "What is it?" He asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders affectionately.

"Stan, isn't the hearing for Cartman's parole next week?"

"Yeah, we have a meeting with the Deputy DA about it tomorrow."

She frowned deeper. "I wish I could testify too. Every person who gives that board evidence that he's unstable and dangerous is one more reason not to let him out."

"Kyle can't testify either, Wendy. Neither of you was directly involved, and the only reason I testified was because I gave the evidence of premeditation."

"I hate that I wasn't a part of that. I hate that you and the guys and Vicki hang out together without me."

Did Wendy really want to get into that? "We hang out together like that because Vicki appreciates things like farts and videogames and playing basketball at the park. She's one of the guys."

"So she's the guy with breasts?"

"...Pretty much."

Stan had grown accustom to her; almost desensitized in a way. Kyle still noticed she was female, but it didn't affect him much, and Kenny... well, he was her boyfriend. Vicki didn't do stupid things like talk about clothes and make-up, and rarely mentioned her body or female status when they were just hanging out together. And if she did, it was to tease Kyle and Kenny.

"And why can't I be like that too?" She pressed.

Stan thought about it for a second. "Because you've always been one of the girls, Wendy, rather than one of the guys. It's not that we're trying not to include you in things, it's just that we don't see you that way."

They finished the movie in silence, now having no clue what had gone on while they'd been talking. But when the credits rolled, Wendy kissed him and left without a word. He wasn't in the dog house, but she wasn't happy with him either.

_*****************************************I've got my heart set, on anywhere but here*****************************************_

Vicki let herself into the McCormick's house to find Karen sitting in front of the ancient TV, Stuart passed out on the couch, and Carole hanging up her coat in the closet—probably having just come home from her new job down at the bar. "Hey Vicki, you and Kenny are staying here tonight?"

"My parents are home, and there's only so much of Kenny's tree house a woman can take." She grinned. Carole had started getting her act together a bit better since her son's girlfriend had nearly died. It wasn't that she wasn't used to crazy things happening, but it was the fact that she hadn't even known that Kenny had a girlfriend that seemed to wake her up a bit. So she'd gotten a job at the bar, and wasn't drinking near as much. And it was good—she was actually pretty nice, if a little undereducated. Though she certainly wasn't blind, deaf and dumb to what her son and his girlfriend did. But that had been her and Stuart back in the day..."

"I said that about Stuart's play-fort when I was only a few years older than you are, and now we live in it. Though seein' as Kenny built that by himself, maybe he'll end up buildin' your first house instead. It wouldn't take much to build a simple cabin and an outhouse..." Carole seemed to be looking at Stuart's passed out form pointedly before sighing. "Be glad it's Kevin who's just like his father and not Kenny, Vicki. Kenny takes after my dad; dirt poor, but not too stupid, and willin' to work hard to try and make a change,"

"He's a good guy." Vicki agreed. "We're lucky to have each other."

Heading into Kenny's room, Vicki flopped down next to him on the bed. "Kenny, I think we have sex too much." She said, stopping his usual kiss before he'd even reached her lips.

Kenny stared at her for a second. "Why do you say that?"

"Because the average couple has sex once every day or two. On average, we do it twice a day, give or take, and sometimes those times are multiple rounds."

She knew his mind well enough that he was now sure sex was out the window tonight. "Vicki, if you want to cut back—"

"I want to know that that's not what's holding us together. I mean, even when I was healing from Cartman, we gave each other oral and tried out a few less rigorous things... What if all we are is best friends who fuck each other and think that's love?"

"Don't people talk about marriage being like spending the rest of their life with their best friend?"

Vicki gave him a pointed look. "Do you really think Stan and Kyle—the Super Best Friends—would spend the rest of their lives sharing even a house together? Really, Ken?"

He didn't—he was just trying to undermine her argument and they both knew it. "I love you, Vicki." He said instead. "I know it because every time I look at you, my heart skips a beat and I remember how it felt sitting in that auditorium together."

"That's not necessarily love, Kenny."

"According to Taylor Swift it is."

She giggled softly, and kissed Kenny chastely. "Well, I know you're not going to like this, but I think I need to wait until after the hearing for more sex. Not just for our relationship, but also because..." Oh, how was she going to word this? "Because I'm damn sore, Kenny, and I feel like an overused porn actress."

Vicki had to give him credit; he didn't laugh. "Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"Because when you think about it, it's embarrassing. I'm supposed to be the queen of the bedroom at South Park Elementary."

"Okay, Vicki. If you don't want sex, I think I can learn to handle that."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really, Kenny? Because that means no one's touching me for a week, and I'm not touching you either. You can jack off, or even go fuck Butters if you want to, but I'm not going to be a sexual creature."

"Okay." Kenny replied, kissing her before they both stripped down to their underwear and crawled into Kenny's creaky old bed. "...You know Butters really isn't my type though, right?"

"I know. He's too innocent for you."

_****************************************I'm staring down myself, counting up the years***************************************_

Park County Deputy DA Melinda Weston stood a moment in the doorway of her outer office, regarding the children gathered there. These kids were going to provide testimony against one of their friends to keep him in Juvie. Frankly, she didn't know how they'd made it through the trial—especially his victim, Vicki Monroe—but they certainly had some guts. Now they'd go through it again, and probably every time Eric Cartman came up for parole.

It was unusual, really, that the victims and witnesses would be testifying at the parole hearing, but the judge had made it a condition of parole. They'd wanted the board to recognize that Cartman's victims were in the place where he would be released to, that there was no way to impose 'no contact' in a small mountain town, and depending on his reaction to them, that he was still a threat.

Preferring to get the meetings over with, and let them get back to whatever kids did these days, Ms. Weston finally made her presence known. "Alright you guys, let's get started. Can I have Stan first please?"

Stan, the raven-haired boy she'd quickly decided was the level headed one six months ago, got up and followed her into the office. Facing him across her desk, Ms. Weston noticed that he looked a lot less worried this time around. "Stan, do you have any questions first? I know we went over the process right after the trial, so that you'd know what was coming up, but it's been six months."

"No, I think I remember everything." He replied evenly.

"Good. So basically, they're going to ask you the same sort of questions I did during the trial, and you'll have to answer with absolute honesty, Stanley. But the parole board may want you to give your opinions on Cartman, and I want you to tell them what you think about him, and whether or not he's a danger to you or your friends. Whatever you feel, even if it seems exaggerated to you, is important."

"So I should tell them he's a Neo-Nazi asshole?"

She couldn't hold back a chuckle at that. "Maybe not in those terms. But if you want to tell them he's a homicidal bully and bigot, I can't see why not."

They talked a little bit more about what the format of the hearing would be, and then Ms. Weston had Stan send Kenny in, for once not wearing the orange parka he'd refused to take off six months ago. This was the one she knew might be a problem. During the preliminary hearing, the charges of Cartman's attempted murder of Kenny McCormick had been thrown out, seeing as not only did Cartman pass a lie detector test about stabbing Kenny (he was deemed to have no memory of it at all), no one remembered him being brought to Hell's Pass Hospital, or being treated.

"Kenny, before we go into what you will be saying, I want to remind you that you can't talk about Cartman's attacking you. The courts didn't recognize it, so the parole board won't either. But you are still the primary witness for the attack on Vicki and probably had the most weight in that court room last time."

"I don't care if Cartman isn't charged with my attempted murder, or assault, or whatever. I just want him away from Vicki." Kenny scowled, eyes darting to the door that separated his girlfriend from his line of vision. "Next time he gets anywhere near her, I'm gonna kill him."

Ms. Weston frowned. "I didn't hear that last bit. And as for the hearing, just give them the truth, whether it's facts or how you feel and think about it. They won't be trying to discredit you like the defence during the trial, and I really wish we'd had a logical explanation for what happened to you... but we still got Cartman in the end, and that's what matters."

Kenny left and Vicki came in. She looked much better than she had during the trial; not only were the stitches in her cheek gone, but she looked a lot healthier, like a happy girl from Arizona ought to look. "How have you been doing, Vicki?"

"Good." She replied, looking towards the door for a second as her boyfriend had done. "Things with Kenny and I have really gotten deep."

"Oh?" Ms. Weston knew to a degree what Vicki had been doing with Kenny the day she was attacked. A rape kit had been collected, despite Vicki's insistence Cartman hadn't had time to penetrate her. It had come back positive for sex, negative for rape, and then she'd confided in her that yes, she and Kenny had sex, the same way she'd had sex with her boyfriend before him.

"We're still working on moderation between seeing our friends and spending time alone, but I'm working to balance it out. Kenny and I made sure I wasn't going to let what Cartman nearly did to me ruin intimacy with my boyfriend."

"That's really good to hear. I hope that this hearing doesn't have a negative impact on that. I know it's going to be tough to bring it all up again when it's been dead and buried for months, but we all know it's important."

Vicki nodded. "I'd rather talk about it to a bunch of strangers than let it happen again. Even if he moved to Alaska, I know Cartman would find a way back here to hurt us. He doesn't let things go."

After Vicki had left, the last one to call in was Leopold 'Butters' Stotch. The boy was slight, with angelic blonde hair and blue eyes. Not angelic in the renaissance artistic way, but in the fact that he radiated purity and innocence. He'd called Ms. Weston the night before, asking to be able to testify.

"I-I know I w-wasn't involved in the trial, Ms. Deputy D.A. m-ma'am." He stuttered out now, cheeks turning pink with self-consciousness. "But I'm the one who goes to visit Eric all the time—I know how he's doin' better than anyone."

"And how is he doing?"

"Not so good, ma'am; he wants to get Vicki away from Kenny because he thinks that havin' sex all the time isn't love and he could show her that."

Bingo; exactly what every Prosecutor wanted to hear before a parole hearing. "He's delusional."

"W-well, that depends on how you see it. He is right that sex isn't love. But I think Vicki and Kenny love each other more than Romeo and Juliet." Butters smiled a bit at the thought, and Ms. Weston found herself smiling too. "They met, got together in private when a lot of people didn't want them to, had sex quickly, and then nearly got killed. That sounds like Romeo and Juliet to me."

"It does." She agreed. "But you know the parole board will want to only hear about Cartman and so that's what we'll focus on. Butters, I think you may actually be the key to keeping him locked up. During the hearing, they're going to ask you questions about the types of things that Cartman talks about when you visit, and what sort of mental state he seems in. I want you to answer those questions as best you can."

"And what if I don't remember any details? It's not like I recorded my visits with him."

Recorded... "Butters, I have an idea. I want you to visit Cartman on Tuesday, two days before the hearing, to tell him about the preparations for it. I want you to go in there wearing a wire."

"A wire?"

"A hidden microphone so we can tape some of your conversation for evidence."

Butters suddenly looked uncomfortable. "W-well I don't know, ma'am. I don't want to mess things up and get grounded."

"I promise you won't get grounded." Ms. Weston assured him. He thought he'd get grounded? Must have strict parents... "So, do we have a deal?"

"Deal."

**

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**

Melinda Weston is the kind of Deputy DA I would be...if I ever thought that law made enough logical sense that I wanted to practice it. I admit, I'm not familiar with the State of Colorado's legal system, so I might be bending things to suit my story, but then again...it's South Park. The Chewbacca defence flew in the episode Chef Aid.


	3. Three

**(Insert clever author's note here)**

* * *

Kyle was sitting in his room on his computer when he heard his mother answer the door downstairs. _"Oh, Vicki, come on in. Kyle's upstairs in his room, but knock first before you go in. He's getting to that age, you know, where a young man might need a little privacy. I just remind him it's perfectly normal for him to explore his sexual urges..."_

Damn his mom for being able to embarrass him even when he wasn't there. Throwing his door wide open, he returned to the computer, closed down the online Karma Sutra he'd been half-reading, and threw all his dirty underwear in his laundry hamper just as Vicki strolled around the corner and into his room.

"Hey Kyle."

"Hey Vicki; how'd the meeting go yesterday?"

She shrugged. "It was alright. Butters was there; he's going to be testifying that Cartman's still chicken-shit crazy and would probably abduct me the first chance he gets."

Kyle chuckled nervously. "I think that Kenny would die first, though that doesn't say much."

"We'll get him though." Vicki said assuredly. "I mean, what sane person would let Cartman go free after what he did? No matter how stupid the adults here seem to be, I think none of them are _that_ stupid."

"At least the Deputy D.A. isn't stupid."

"No, she's pretty alright for a lawyer."

Vicki flopped down onto his bed, and was now staring up at his ceiling, a thoughtful expression on her face, creasing her brow a bit. "So Kenny and I are taking a break."

Kyle felt his heart skip a beat, and then thud into overdrive. "You broke up?"

"No, no, we're still together. We just are going to ease up a bit. Have a little breathing room, spend some time with friends, focus on the hearing, take a break from sex... we actually started the night before last."

He was surprised; Kenny and Vicki were _that couple;_ the ones that were so in love, and so attracted to one another, they simply couldn't keep their hands off each other. Infamous for practically getting naked in the back of the movie theatre. The idea of them stepping back from each other... was almost against their nature. "W-why?"

Vicki quirked a smile. "There's more to life and love, you know, than sex. Last time Kenny died, Satan kind of dropped him a hint that we need balance in our relationship and... I've realized he's right."

"So you and Kenny aren't touching each other until the hearing's over?"

"Well, no one's touching me—not even me—but Kenny could go fuck anyone he wants, even Butters, if he wanted to give bi-curious a try."

Kyle couldn't help feeling a little sceptical that Vicki would hold out for just under a week. "Are you really going to be able to do it?"

"Hopefully. Ken's promised not to give in to me, and you can't either. So even if I show up wet, half-naked, and begging for your cock, don't have sex with me."

"... Why did you have to put that image into my head?" Now all he was going to think about the rest of the day would be a half-naked Vicki looking like she'd just stepped out of Sports Illustrated.

"It's what I do." She grinned evilly. "I live to make men's peepees go 'da-do-ing, do-ing, do-ing'."

Kyle stared at her dumbly for a minute, and then Vicki giggled. "I forgot; Jews don't listen to Eminem. Only white trash like Kenny and I. Someday I'll show you the video for Ass Like That."

He had no idea what she was talking about, but assumed it was better not to know. Sometimes Vicki's urban upbringing really showed, like when she got talking about rap music, and that was when he couldn't deny he was from a small hick town in the mountains, and sheltered as hell.

"If this is how you are after one day of abstinence, I wouldn't be surprised if you showed up on my doorstep wet, half-naked, and wanting sex after a week. And if you do that, I think someone should take pity on your sorry pussy."

At that, she got up from the bed, walked calmly over to where he sat in his desk chair, and gave him a swat upside the head. "You're just as bad as Kenny is. Maybe I should go hang out with Stan; I don't think he's ever even had an erection."

Kyle shrugged. "Ask him. It'd be worth it just to see the look on his face."

She laughed all the way out the door, and Kyle let his own laughter die, conjuring up the image of Vicki in short-shorts and a white bikini top, dripping wet and clinging to him. Closing the door, he unzipped his jeans, pulled himself out, and fisted his hardening length. Why did she have to put images like that into his head anyways?

___**********************************_Steady hands just take the wheel, and every glance is killing me_*********************************_

"...She has a point, and you know it."

Kenny sighed; he'd been afraid Stan would say that. They were hanging out at Stark's Pond, skipping rocks and having 'guy talk'. He had just finished explaining Vicki's decision to take a short vow of abstinence, and rather than receiving sympathy, he was getting... that. "Why did I come to you to complain? Kyle would have understood better."

Stan smiled wryly. "Kyle would, but you forget there's a division of friends between you and Vicki. If you two break up, Vicki gets Kyle, and you get me."

"Why can't she get you for once?"

"I'm not the one she's still kinda attracted to."

Kenny felt a bit of fear spring up inside him. "...You don't think she's doing this because of Kyle, do you?"

"Hell if I know." He shrugged tossing another rock into the pond. "If you want to understand girl-psychology, go ask a girl. And if you want one that will actually make some sense, ask Wendy."

"Your girlfriend? What does Wendy know about liking two guys and fucking one of them?"

"She knows a lot more about love and sex than you'd think."

"...Well, Vicki did teach her how to bring herself off..."

"WHAT?"

Kenny howled with laughter. "You should see the look on your face, man! Priceless!" He had no clue whether or not Vicki had taught Wendy to flick the bean, and honestly wouldn't mind keeping it that way. But he hadn't been able to resist pulling one over on Stan and freaking him out. "My girlfriend might be a slut, but she's not a lesbian... and I don't think she's Bi." They'd have to have a talk about that. Maybe she could lez out a bit with Bebe...that could be hot.

"But seriously, I'd rather die than talk to Wendy about this." He sobered. "I guess this is the part where I grit my teeth, ignore the 'male-complex' and talk with Vicki about it."

"That's what being in a relationship's about." Stan smiled knowingly. "Talking about your feelings, not matter how much it makes you feel like a pussy."

They went back to skipping rocks in silence, but Kenny couldn't seem to shake the sick, heavy feeling in his gut. Vicki deserved someone who could be good to her emotionally, he knew—he'd always known—and maybe now she knew it too. Kyle would be better to her; the sex would need some work, but he was much better with the feelings shit than Kenny had ever been. But Kenny was selfish, and loved her more than anything he'd known before. He couldn't lose her to Kyle, or anyone else.

___****************************************Time to make one last appeal, for the life I lead__****************************************_

Bebe couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped her when Vicki range her doorbell. She hadn't known who else to call when she'd realized Wendy had been staring at herself in the mirror for almost an hour. And not just looking at herself; she seemed to be analyzing every aspect of her appearance. It was creeping her out.

"What's wrong, Bebe?" Vicki asked, pulling her into a hug, and she realized she'd been crying without knowing it.

"I don't know what's wrong with Wendy. We were talking about her and Stan—they had a talk last night about maybe having sex, and suddenly she got up, went into the bathroom, and started staring at herself in the mirror. She won't talk to me, and I can't get her to come out!"

Vicki let her go, and placed her hands on both of Bebe's shoulders. "Go into the living room, and watch TV or read a book. Don't sit there worrying; I think I know what's going on, but I want you to stay out of the way, okay?"

"Okay Vicki." She said quietly, and headed into the living room, picking up a book. But in seconds, her attention was drawn to the voices coming from the bathroom across the hall.

"I'm pretty, right?" Wendy was saying, sounding far away in her thoughts. "Maybe not as pretty as you, Vicki— my eyes are smaller, my mouth is bigger, and my boobs are still working on coming in. But there are uglier girls than me, right?"

"Wendy, you are beautiful; your skin is luminous, your nose is dead straight, your legs are long, and your ears don't stick out as much as mine do."

"Then what's wrong with Stan? He doesn't want sex with me, and says he's not ready, but _I'm_ ready—"

Vicki cut across her gently. "Think about what you just said; _he's not ready._ He loves you, I know he does just from the way he looks at you—like you're his life. But if he's not ready, he's not ready, and it might be that he's physically not ready. Do you understand?"

Bebe understood. They were at the point where some of them were getting ahead of the others in physical maturity. She'd started growing boobs in grade four, and while they hadn't gotten much further since the start of grade five, she was way ahead of Millie, who was still as flat as the boys. And speaking of the boys... she and Token had tried to fool around a little bit the first day of summer break, and he hadn't been able to get it up, much to both their disappointment. She wouldn't be surprised if more of the boys had that problem. In fact, the only ones she knew _didn't_ were Kenny, Clyde, Jimmy, Butters, and Kyle.

"So it's not that he doesn't want me?" Wendy asked, voice sounding watery, like she had been crying, or was about to.

"He wants you, but he's not ready to have you. Give him time."

"Okay. Thanks, Vicki."

Bebe snatched up her book just as Vicki entered the living room. "Well?"

"You heard." She said plainly. "You know how it went. Thanks for not trying to give input. That's the reason I wanted you out of the way. But Wendy'll be out in a bit; she just needs to clean herself up."

"Vicki, do you really think Stan—?"

"I don't know what Stan does in private, but I know I've never gotten a reaction out of Stan, and I once flashed the guys just to get them to stop arguing."

Bebe wrinkled her nose in distaste "Weren't there better ways to do that?"

"It was a convenient way to get them all to shut up and pay attention to me." Vicki said casually. "They know I don't mean anything by it... even Kyle."

"What is up with you and Kyle anyways?" She blurted out. "And I don't want the usual bullshit you feed to parents and the other kids."

"Kyle is a special case. I like him, I wouldn't mind being his first fuck, but I really can't see myself having a relationship with him. It would be too... I guess it would be too nice and boring. Kyle would want to go to dinner, and see movies and have sex in bed. I want to hole up for days and try vertical sixty-nining or sex against the kitchen counter. I want excitement!"

"And when you get older?"

Vicki shrugged. "I don't really know what I'll do then. But I know right now I love Kenny, and no matter who I flash or fuck, he has my heart. And seeing as I'm not doing either of those until the hearing's over..."

Bebe couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You're not doing it with Kenny for a week?"

"Nope. I want to remember why we fell in love in the first place, and the best way to do that is to go back to when my stitches were in and we _couldn't_ fuck. We were better back then; I miss that."

Seeing her out the door, Bebe couldn't decide whether Vicki was the luckiest girl in South Park, or cursed as hell, to be in love with Kenny McCormick, the most sexual guy in Colorado.

**

* * *

**

I wasn't sure how I felt about Wendy here, if she was a little OOC. But then I remembered _Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society _and I figured if Wendy would get breast implants... she's open to her own insecurities.


	4. Four

**Okay, by now you probably know I have no taste when it comes to the one-off jokes, but this time I'll ive you guys a little warning. Vicki's gonna joke around a bit about incest, and I just wanna let you know, I don't condone it, and when it's an actual possibility, it's really not funny. That's my piece- don't take Vicki seriously. **

* * *

Monday morning saw all the recent fifth grade graduates gathered at the park, summoned by a text from Token. Stan noticed right away that Vicki and Kenny arrived from opposite directions—she'd slept at home, and he'd slept at his house. Neither looked like they'd slept well, though, with dark circles around their eyes. Vicki clung a bit to Kenny's side, as if craving his contact, and his arm around her shoulders was a little tighter than normal.

"Are you guys okay?" He couldn't help asking.

"Just couldn't sleep." Vicki mumbled, burying her face into the crook of Kenny's neck. "Bed was too goddamn cold."

"Karen climbed in with me, 'cause Mom and Dad were fighting again, and I didn't get to relieve the pressure last night." Kenny grumbled. "She used to do that all the time... I knew there was a reason she doesn't like you as much, babe."

"Oh, we know she's insanely jealous of her brother's girlfriend." Vicki teased back just a bit. "'Cause Kevin's not nearly as sexy as her second older brother."

Okay, that was too much to hear. "Could you guys lay off the incest jokes?" Stan snapped a little. "That's just gross."

"It's only a joke, Stan; Karen's just a scared little kid." Kenny sighed. "I think Mom was actually hoping you'd be over, Vicki. She actually asked if we'd broken up, which is weird because she never notices when Kevin drags some girl home."

"What can I say, she likes me."

Finally, Kyle came running up to them. "Hey, I'm late, I know, I'm sorry." He apologized in response to Token's glare. "I didn't wake up on time."

_"_And I'm the Queen of Sheba_."_ Stan heard Vicki murmur to her boyfriend, a knowing smirk on her face. "So what does Token want anyways?"

Kyle shrugged. "Idunno." He turned to Clyde. "Clyde, why'd your boyfriend call us here?"

"He's not my boyfriend." Clyde shot back. "We're straight, you fucks. And I don't know what he wants."

"Besides your ass." Kenny couldn't help but add, earning himself the filthiest look anyone had ever seen Clyde give.

Token chose then to get on with it. "Can I get everyone's attention please?"

They all fell silent, watching their dark-skinned leader. "Thank you. I called everyone here today, because I want us to do something—something important. On Thursday is Eric Cartman's parole hearing. Stan, Kenny, Vicki and Butters will be testifying to keep him in Juvie, and I want everyone to be there, not only to support them, but to show those board guys that we don't want Cartman back."

There was a murmur of uncertainty amongst them, until Craig stepped up to stand beside Token. "I'm in."

Tweek went up to join his best friend. "GAH! I'm IN!" He shouted, pulling at his crazy, bright blonde hair.

Clyde meandered up there. "Me too."

"And me!" Annie joined in.

One by one, the class pledged to support them at the hearing, and Stan felt both embarrassed and grateful. It was good to know someone had your back, and even better to know not one of them wanted Cartman back. He certainly wasn't going to complain about never seeing him again...

"F-f-f-for V-Vicki!" Jimmy stuttered out suddenly, and soon the others took up the cry. "For Vicki!" A glance at the girl in question showed she didn't feel the same way.

"WAIT! I know you want to support me, but I got my support six months ago, and I wasn't even the one who died. I know none of you remember—I think I'm the only one who _can_ remember—but Kenny died that night, and the evidence and charges were thrown out of court. Cartman only cut me up, thank God, but he killed Kenny right in front of me. But if we can keep Cartman imprisoned as long as we can, I think that's a victory for Kenny."

Token threw his fist in the air. "For Kenny!"

"FOR KENNY!"

The others took off, chanting 'For Kenny' as they went, not even noticing that Kenny was standing beside his girlfriend still, face as red as a tomato. Shaking himself a bit, he leaned down to kiss her lightly.

"What was that for?" She asked, looking a bit surprised.

"For being the most amazing girlfriend ever."

They stood there grinning at each other for a minute, before Kenny broke the silence. "Wanna go see a movie?"

"Sure, but we have to choose one we actually _want_ to watch. Not one we'd want to just grope in the back of the theatre to."

He nodded, and they left, leaving Stan and Kyle standing there somewhat awkwardly. "Are they... actually going on a normal date?" Stan asked after a moment.

Kyle blinked a couple of times. "I...I think so, dude. I think they're going to go watch a movie that isn't a porno, and eat popcorn instead of each other's faces."

_**************************************Stop and stare, I think I'm moving but I go nowhere__**************************************_

Gathering at Annie's house, the girls sans Vicki were passing the time working on a new list—ten dumbest grown-ups in South Park. It was a challenge; so far Officer Barbradey was at the top of the list, with Mr. Garrison in second place, Jimbo in third, the Mayor in fourth, and Kenny's parents tied for fifth.

"You know what I don't understand?" Rebecca said suddenly. "Kenny's parents are stupid, his brother is stupid, and his sister is... well, no one really knows her much. But Kenny's probably the fifth smartest guy in the class. After Kyle, Token, Butters and Kevin."

Bebe shrugged. "I guess he's smart enough to get past the fact that his family's pretty stupid."

"Maybe Vicki knows..."

Wendy ran out of patience. "Why does who the ten stupidest adults in South Park are matter? It's not like it will ever effect us much; not like something about the guys."

"Wendy, is this about Stan?" Bebe asked cautiously.

"What do you mean 'about Stan'." Annie cut in before Wendy could reply.

Oh no, Bebe was going to tell them! "It's noth—!"

"Stan can't get hard."

Wendy felt color flood her face. Bebe just had to share that _very_ private bit of information with all the rest of the girls. It had been bad enough when she and Vicki knew. Well, Vicki was their female Kenny—the sex expert, so that wasn't so bad...

"And Token can't either." Bebe added, looking a little pink herself. "He and I tried to fool around a little bit, but it just wouldn't happen."

The girls sat for a moment, and then Rebecca broke the silence. "Jason can't get it up either."

Wendy felt her eyes widen involuntarily "Really?"

"Mhm. I tried giving him a hand job and he didn't get hard at all."

"Craig only got hard like a week ago." Millie piped up. "I heard him telling Tweek. It happened when he went by Kenny's tree house, and he and Vicki were having sex against the window."

"Wow." Bebe looked impressed. "Hey, maybe that could work for Stan."

"No, if that would have worked, it would have already have happened." Wendy sighed. "He and Kyle have gone to break them up enough."

The girls fell into an uncomfortable silence, before Rebecca tore a page from the notebook they were writing the earlier list in. "Let's list the guys; hard, not, and unknown."

Bebe nodded. "Hard is the easiest category. Kenny, Kyle, Clyde, Butters, Jimmy, and Craig."

"And Tweek." Millie added "He told Craig after Craig told him."

"Where did you hear this anyways?"

"Clyde and I were making out in a boys' bathroom stall."

Tuning them out, Wendy couldn't help feeling a little behind. Rebecca was giving Jason hand jobs, Millie was making out with Clyde... And they were only ten or eleven. But it was the way things were now; kids were having sex younger and younger, and there were worse things they could be doing, like drugs...

"...and that means everyone else is unknown." Bebe was saying. "And the only ones who've had sex are Kenny and Jimmy."

"Does a prostitute count though?" Rebecca questioned. "I mean, it's not to do with liking anyone."

"It's consensual; not like Butters being molested by his uncle, or having Cartman put his dick in his mouth. Remember when Cartman showed us the picture? That was just weird."

Bebe nodded, grabbing her buzzing phone and looking at the text. "Vicki says Kenny took her to a movie; Love and Other Drugs."

"Isn't that the one with Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal where she has Parkinson's and he's a pharmaceutical guy who sells Viagra?" Annie asked.

"Mhm." Rebecca confirmed. "Craig wanted to go see it for a date, but then... Oh my God, Wendy, why don't you just try giving Stan Viagra?"

"Viagra?"

"Yeah. My dad has some; I could probably get a couple without him noticing."

At this, Bebe looked a little uneasy. "That's a little extreme—giving him drugs. Remember last time you tried to rush nature, Wendy? You got breast implants and that was really messed up."

She remembered; she still had the scars. And her boobs certainly weren't coming in without fighting them. But the idea of 'helping' Stan was tempting. She wanted him to be able to make love to her, and maybe prove that Vicki and Kenny weren't the only hot couple in South Park. Everybody went on and on about how good they were together, when she and Stan had been together for over a year... "When can you get them for, Rebecca?"

___*******************************************Yeah I know that everyone gets scared__*******************************************_

Vicki loved it; they had sat through an entire movie, and been able to actually remember what it was about afterwards. Kenny had even remembered to behave himself, rather than have his hand down her pants by the time the previews were over. Overall, it had been a successful, normal movie date.

Leaving the theatre, they headed towards Vicki's house. Between the attack, and Vicki's stitches being taken out, they had made an unconditional rule that he would always walk her home. Even if Cartman was in Juvie, even in broad daylight, there were other people out there who would be more than willing to hurt a young girl alone. They weren't taking chances.

"Do you think this is how Stan and Wendy feel?" Kenny asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Just... being together. No need to be all over each other, just... together."

She knew what he meant. "I think it's nice. I mean, when I had my stitches in, we spent more time talking and not only doing things together, but doing things with our friends. Sex isn't really a social thing."

Kenny shrugged. "You're talking to a guy everyone knew for being that guy you could barely understand because he was always hiding behind a hood."

She thought for a minute. "I think we need to get everyone together to do something awesome."

"And what would be awesome?"

Vicki couldn't help the grin that crept onto her face. "When I stayed in Wisconsin with my cousins last summer, we went out cow tipping."

His eyes lit up. "No way."

"Way. It took six of us, but it was so much fun, just getting together out in this field, tipping over cows and my cousin Trevor brought a keg of beer."

"I don't know about beer, but we could probably get people together for some cow tipping. I'll call the guys."

Kenny whipped out his cell phone and dialled Stan, while Vicki scrolled through her own contacts. Pulling up Craig's number, she hit dial. If you wanted news to reach a lot of people, you called Craig, because he was always with his gang.

"What's up Crazy Bitch?" He answered with his usual nasal tone, sounding bored.

"We're going cow tipping tonight; you guys in?"

A pause. "Are we going to have to put up with you fucking you boyfriend into a haystack?"

"Where the fuck have you been, Tucker, on Mars?" How had he not heard? Bebe was the biggest gossip in South Park. "Ken and I aren't doing that 'till after the hearing."

"What happened, you sprained McCormick's dick or something? Because if that's the case, you know pretty much every other guy in our grade would be more than willing to help you out, myself included."

"Kenny's dick is fine." Vicki snapped at him. "And I really don't need to be fucked all the time, you know; I'm a slut not a whore. Now, are you coming tonight or what?"

Craig laughed. "Kay, we'll be there Vic."

Hanging up, Vicki immediately hit the speed-dial for Bebe. "Hey."

"Hey, have fun at your movie?"

"Yeah, I actually remember it." Vicki chuckled a bit. "We're just thinking we should all get together tonight; you wanna come cow tipping?"

"Cow tipping?" Bebe sounded a little confused. "You mean, like where you push over cows...?

"Exactly. You don't have to actually tip any over, Bebe. You can just come hang out."

She waited as Bebe talked to the others in the background. "We'll be there."

Getting off the phone, she turned to Kenny, who was grinning from ear to ear. "They'll be there." He affirmed. "I also called Butters—he'll be there too."

"So will everyone else. And how is it I managed to get to three quarters of the class while you called three guys, two of whom were together?"

"I had to explain to Kyle what a Humbler is."

Vicki felt a little taken aback. "Why the hell would he need to know that?"

"He was reading about BDSM on the internet again. Apparently Stan's freaking out that someone might check his browser history."

"He's just worried that Wendy will find out, think _that's_ what it will take for him to get off, and then dress up all in leather with a riding crop."

Kenny paused for a moment. "Remind me why we've never tried more than being tied to the bed?"

"Because you love it when we switch half way through, and it's hard to do that when you're all tied up." Vicki reminded him gently, reaching up to kiss him, and feeling him smirk against her lips.

"Besides, you're hotter when you're on top." He replied.

And didn't he know it. "C'mon you pervert, let's go see what we can do to get some food and drink for this cow tipping party."

**

* * *

**

I admit, I have never been cow-tipping. Apparently it doesn't actually work. But in a town full of cows, the kids just have to try it once. We'll see how it goes for them.


	5. Five

**Yeah, I didn't do the every other day thing. But when my inbox is looking so empty... whatever. Here's another one.**

* * *

Kyle couldn't believe that he was actually doing this. He'd told his parents he was staying at Kenny's, same as Stan, and spent the evening there before it got dark. Then, without a word to either Kenny's drunk father, or surprisingly sober mother, they'd strolled out the door carrying about twenty bags of chips, six cases of sodas, and a keg Kenny and Vicki had bribed Skyler to buy them. Apparently The Lords of The Underworld weren't doing too well, career-wise...

"Are you guys sure we're not going to get arrested for this?" Kyle couldn't help asking again, as they made their way to the rendezvous point aka Stark's Pond.

"Kyle, you have enough porn stashed in your room to make Hugh Hefner uncomfortable, and you're worried about getting caught cow tipping?" Kenny was laughing so hard, he nearly dropped the keg. "The worst that will happen is that Officer Barbradey will come cruising by, stare at us for a minute, and tell us to 'Carry on.' like he always does."

Vicki frowned. "What about those other cops? The ones who came to Stark's Pond?"

"Oh, they only show up when they're called in." Stan explained. "Barbradey does the patrolling; it's kind of why some kids started being vigilantes for a while in grade four."

"Vigilantes?" She looked a little sceptical of that. "You mean _actual_ vigilantes?"

Kyle knew it was coming, but there was still hope that Stan would keep his mouth shut... "Kenny was really good at it."

"KENNETH SAMUAL MCCORMICK!"

This time he really did drop the keg as his girlfriend launched herself at him, beating him over the head, punctuating each word with a blow. "WHY. THE. HELL. WOULD. YOU. DO. THAT!"

"Jesus, get off me, Vic!" He complained, shielding himself from the blows with his arms. "It was pretty bad then; the town needed people to stand up and say they wouldn't take the crime lying down. I wasn't exactly in _danger_, being immortal and all."

"But you still die." She argued.

"Well, it's in the past anyways—I don't do that anymore."

Kyle could actually see the worry and concern drain out of Vicki's face, replaced by so much love... he wondered how it felt to have that sort of emotion directed at him that strongly. Probably like being bathed in the light of the angels. Kenny had told them once that female angels were usually naked, and had really big racks... but then again, this had been the guy who sniffed cat pee.

"Hey, can we get going here?" Stan asked irritably, shifting the sodas in his arms. "This shit's kinda heavy."

"Suck it up, Stan-my-man." Vicki said sweetly, before flipping him the bird. "Life's a beach, and sometimes you need to get the sand out of your vagina and have fun!"

They reached Stark's Pond just as the last stragglers were coming, and headed out to the cow field the boys had burned cow shit in as kids. The furthest from the ranch house, it was the best field, full of the dumbest cows, in South Park. So long as the cow rancher didn't come out with guns blazing.

Bebe sat a portable iPod dock in the grass, and threw on party music as people started digging into the drinks and food. Immediately, Kenny and Vicki set up a game of beer-ball; what looked to Kyle like beer pong, only more like basketball because the ping pong ball wouldn't bounce on the grass. He could do that...

Within ten minutes, Kyle had drank three beers, having played five rounds of beer-ball against Kenny, Vicki, Craig, Token and Millie, and was starting to get that 'feeling'. The music suddenly seemed that much cooler, he felt that much more comfortable, and watching Vicki, Craig, Clyde, Stan and Kenny try to push over a cow... Vicki looked even hotter than usual.

"Kyle, come help!" Vicki shouted, laughing as the cow just shuffled it's feet instead of tipping over. Getting between her and Kenny, Kyle threw all his weight into tipping that cow to impress Vicki, and with a sudden 'MOO' and a thump, the cow was on its side, and they were all rolling together on the ground, laughing like lunatics. Clyde got up, and they could plainly see cow shit smeared across his tan shorts, which sent them into fresh peals of laughter. Vicki was laughing so hard, she was clutching onto Kyle's shirt, and howling into his shoulder, not really noticing that she was lying half on top of him. But boy did he notice...

"Vicki, stop trying to rape Kyle." Kenny teased, pulling his girlfriend into his lap and ravishing her mouth the way they were all used to seeing him do, rather than the toned-down version of the past couple of days. She responded by pushing him back onto the grass, and holding his hands above his head. Probably so he would remember Vicki's goal for the week.

"It's not rape if he likes it." Vicki mumbled against her boyfriend's lips, and Kyle was suddenly very conscious of how he was sitting next to a felled cow, watching his friends make out, sporting one hell of a boner.

"'Should go..." He muttered, and made his way over to the haystack where Bebe was sitting, looking a little put out. "You okay?"

"I'm worried." Bebe admitted, patting the hay next to her for Kyle to sit down. "Wendy's been acting a little strange lately about her relationship with Stan. I think she's got it into her head they need to be a 'better' couple than Kenny and Vicki."

"And how can you change anything about that? My parents say if you can't change anything about something, then it's not worth worrying over."

Bebe gave him a long look. "Wow, that was really smart, Kyle."

Within seconds, she had leaned in and softly kissed him, the way she had in third grade when they were kids in a clubhouse. And while this time it wasn't gross, it didn't seem... right. Bebe was too soft and sweet; like a light cake when you wanted a heavy pastry. "Sorry, I just had to do that again." She apologized, blushing. "Token and I have this casual thing going on, but we've run into a... problem. One that everyone knows you don't have, and Kenny _definitely_ doesn't have—"

"Token can't get it up?"

Kyle's voice must have been louder than he'd realized, aided by the quiet period between songs, because suddenly everyone was staring in their direction, and then towards Token in unison. Token looked about ready to kill Kyle, but then Vicki asked loudly if anyone would be willing to suck Kenny off because she couldn't, and the attention shifted to her instead. Thank god for small miracles.

"Keep it down!" Bebe warned, too late. "Would you like everyone knowing how well hung or not you are? Those kind of things are private."

"Okay, okay..." He placated her. "I'm sorry... now what does Token's limp chicken have to do with me?"

"I thought maybe if we had chemistry..." Oh seriously? "But it didn't work; there was no spark."

Of course there wasn't; Kyle was madly into Vicki. "So you want to have sex that badly?"

"Not _that_ badly... I'm not going to make Token take Viagra or whatever. Wendy on the other hand..."

Okay; not something he wanted to hear. Ever. "That's fucked up, but you have to let Wendy make her own mistakes. The worst that can happen is that Stan gets such a bad boner, he has his first come without Wendy even getting close to him."

Bebe looked at him like he was from another planet. "Kyle, hearing you talk about sex is the weirdest thing ever. Has Kenny swapped brains with you when no one was looking?"

Kyle pointed to Kenny and Vicki, who were currently rolling around in the hay, Making out heavily, but still somehow keeping their hands out of each other's clothes. "Kenny's still got the mush that he calls a brain. But Vicki might have lent him some of hers for the exams. He actually did okay."

"Kenny's not really stupid." She reminded him. "He just doesn't try much."

Kyle knew that; he was one of Kenny's best friends. Sometimes he'd forget though, when Kenny was so bent on playing the pervert, the class clown, the poor kid. He had his roles, his characters, and he liked to wear them the way he usually wore his orange parka hood; as something to hide behind. But looking at him now, he wasn't hiding, and he wasn't relying on one of his roles; he was being himself. He wasn't himself with his friends even half as much as he was with Vicki. It kinda hurt, when Kyle really thought about it.

"They really are perfect together." Bebe said quietly, watching their friends, and Kyle almost hated himself for agreeing.

_********************************************But I've become what I can't be__********************************************_

They straggled back to Kenny's house at about two in the morning, letting themselves in to find Stuart passed out on the couch with the TV playing static, and Kevin's loud snores coming from his room. Stan made it two steps into the house, before making a mad dash to the bathroom and barfing. He'd had a couple of beers at the party, and apparently he couldn't hold his alcohol. He knew Kyle had drank a lot more—five or six—but he'd always been the one with the weak stomach...

"You okay, Stan?"

Vicki was holding out a wet washcloth and a cup of water, both of which he took gratefully. "Yeah, just not very good at the drinking thing."

She gave an affected giggle, and Stan realized she was probably still a little drunk too. She and Kenny had kept to a few beers, and ate lots of food, but hey; they were eleven not twenty-one. If he could get sick from a couple, they could get drunk. "If you don't think you'll be sick again, come on to bed."

"You mean Kenny's room, right?"

"Whatever." She shrugged. "I think Kyle's going to share the bed with us; he's already fighting with Kenny for the pillow. Which is stupid because they're both going to give it to me in the end..."

That was a thought; getting into Kenny's creaky, narrow bed with Kenny, Vicki and Kyle, or sleeping alone on the floor and probably waking up to find another rat had gnawed on his socks in the night. "You don't have to worry about Ken and I molesting each other in the middle of the night." Vicki added. "But I will warn you we sleep in our underwear, and I think Kyle is too."

Vicki in her underwear... 'Okay Stan, this is where you have to start thinking like all the rest of the guys.' He thought to himself. He would be sharing a bed with two other guys and a girl, and at least two of them would be half naked. One of them was Vicki—easily the hottest girl in the class. But if Wendy knew, and somehow he didn't doubt she'd find out, she would probably murder him. And she wouldn't make it quick either; it would be ball-chopping, anal-probing, shit-eating torture murder.

"Wendy would flip a shit." He admitted.

"Well who's going to tell her? Kenny and I won't, and I don't think Kyle's stupid enough. Go ahead, cut loose, live a little... It'll be a lot more comfortable off the floor and away from the rats, Stan."

"...Okay."

He followed Vicki into Kenny's room, and half-watched as she stripped out of her jeans and t-shirt to reveal green boy-short panties and a blue sports bra. That was good; he'd been worried she wore thongs and push-up bras. He probably couldn't have handled that—would have chickened out and slept with the rats. But he was still self-conscious as he pulled his own t-shirt over his head, and slipped off his jeans. He was glad he'd taken to wearing gym shorts under his clothes. After all, you never knew when you'd be having to crash with a girl in the room.

They clambered into bed, and Stan found himself squished against the wall, facing Kyle's mass of red curls. On the other side of the bed, Kenny was complaining about being ready to fall off, and Vicki was laughing at him, before pulling him closer to her. "Do you want to sneak into the junk depot at three in the morning to try and find a bigger bed, Kenny? Because I don't think Stan and Kyle could make it. In fact, I don't think Kyle could make it ten feet without passing out."

"Hey... I'm drunk not deaf." Kyle mumbled. "And I think I got the raw end of this deal—Kenny gets your rack, while Stan's elbow's digging into my back."

"And your hard-on's digging into mine, so quit complaining Kyle." Vicki replied sweetly, before grinding her hips back onto him, and making Kyle moan.

"Hey, cut it out." Stan snapped, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

Vicki sat up and leaned over Kyle's side. "Why should I Stan, worried Kyle's gonna decide to take me in the middle of the bed?"

Un-wedging his hand from between himself and the wall, Stan flipped her off, and was even more annoyed when she responded with a quick string of American Sign Language, before disappearing back behind Kyle, who was now out like a light, and snoring. "Vicki, what the hell did you just say?"

"Well, you flipped me off, and in the deaf community that's sign for 'fuck you'. My aunt is deaf and I learned sign language as a kid. So I said 'Put your money where your mouth is, and do it.'"

Stan felt his face burn, and rather than respond, he rolled over and faced the wall. Goddamn Vicki and her goddamn teasing. Why did she have to be so... whatever it was she was that made him squirm and kinda wonder what it would be like to hold her the way Kenny did... Eventually drifting off to sleep, Stan couldn't help the two thoughts that crossed his mind. He wasn't sure whether or not Vicki was joking, and he hoped to God Kyle would keep his hands to himself in his sleep.

_*******************************Stop and stare, you start to wonder why you're here not there__*******************************_

Kenny awoke to find he had fallen onto the floor after all, leaving the others to shift around and get much more comfortable in _his_ bed overnight. Stan was no longer squished to the wall, but lying on his back, wrapped up in grey sheets, and looking like a mummy. Vicki was still lying on her side, facing the edge of the bed as she'd fallen asleep, but now Kyle had his arms wrapped around her, and was cupping her breasts with his hands...

Being the possessive sort when it was in plain view and he hadn't approved of it before hand, Kenny jumped onto Kyle, and wedging himself between him and his girlfriend, much to Kyle's groggy protests of "What the fuck man...?" And Vicki's half awake grumblings about how it was "T'goddamn early f'r this..."

Reaching around her, Kenny cupped her breasts possessively, and Vicki froze, then buried her face into the pillow. "_That's what Kyle was doin' last night..."_

"I told you he couldn't keep his hands to himself." Kenny murmured in her ear, earning himself the dirtiest glare she could muster at... ten in the morning, after partying all night.

"I...I..." Kyle was looking utterly lost, sitting in the middle of the bed in pale green boxers, and flushing so red, it was traveling down his chest and almost at the level of his diaphragm.

"Guys... wuttimisit?" Stan asked, sitting up and staring at them all through sleep-clouded eyes. Kenny thought about saying that Kyle had tried to rape Vicki in their sleep, but rape jokes after being sexually assaulted less than a year ago weren't funny. That would be one of those things that took 22.3 years.

"Kyle was just feeling up my girlfriend this morning, and I had to put a stop to it. If I can't get any action, neither can he."

"Kenny you idiot, I don't really care; I just hate being woken up by a lunatic jumping on the bed in the morning." Vicki fumed, giving him a light smack upside the head. "Remember when your brother Kevin did that the first night I stayed here?"

He remembered. Kevin had spent three hours apologizing after Kenny had broken his nose, claiming he'd had no idea Kenny had 'his chick' over. Vicki had been pissed beyond belief that Kevin had landed with his ass on her face, and one heel between the legs. She had vowed never to stay there again, until Kenny got a lock on his door; he'd bought a chain lock later that day.

"Kay, I'm getting up." Stan announced to no one in particular, and rolled over them all to get out of bed and reach his jeans and t-shirt. He was followed by Kyle who raced to the bathroom.

"Looks like someone's got a little morning business to take care of." Vicki smirked, and Kenny couldn't help watching Stan's face go red. It was too much fun to see Vicki make him uncomfortable. "Though I would've thought you'd call first dibs, Ken."

"I was planning on just kicking Stan out as soon as he's not going to freak out my sister and make my mother fall in love with his skinny ass."

He loved the look of utter confusion on Stan's face. "Make your mother...? What the fuck does that even mean, dude?"

Rather than answer, Kenny kicked him out the door, laughing like an idiot, and making Vicki just shake her head. "You like to fuck with him worse than I do."

"If it makes no logical sense, it's funnier." He replied, flopping down onto the newly vacated bed and pulling down his greying briefs. Yep, definitely a decent morning wood; the kind you really didn't want to walk around with all day. Even though he didn't mind people seeing or knowing—he really didn't have much modesty—it was just fucking uncomfortable.

Fisting himself, Kenny gave his girlfriend a pointed look. "Are you seriously just going to stand there and watch me jerk off? I mean, it's hot, in kind of a kinky way, but it's also kinda weird."

"Maybe... I might go sit outside the bathroom door and wait for Kyle to get out so that he gets all embarrassed about moaning my name while bringing himself off." She said with an evil smile.

"That is just cruel."

"I know."

She sat on the bed between his open legs and placed her hand over the one around his cock. It wasn't contact, but it was a connection; like with that simple gesture she had isolated the emotional part of making love. He had never felt closer to Vicki than at that moment, even the first time they had made love in his tree house six months ago, when they'd just barely met. Because right now he was staring right through her eyes and into her soul, where all her warmth and love for him was, and where he knew part of his heart rested to. The part he'd given her.

Moving their hands together, up and down his shaft, they slowly jacked him off, and just as he was reaching his peak, Kenny pulled Vicki into a searing kiss. He came, with white light behind his eyelids, and fire coursing through his veins. Arching up off the bed and into Vicki's arms, he felt _this_ was what Vicki wanted them to feel; more than sex, more than love, more than life.

Breaking their kiss, Vicki wiped Kenny's bangs out of his eyes, and kissed his forehead. "I love you; don't ever forget that."

"Why would I ever forget?" He panted slightly, a little puzzled by her words.

"I just want you to know it, just in case."

"I love you too."

Getting up, she wiped the cum off them both with a corner of his bed sheets. "We should probably get dressed."

Kenny shrugged. "Actually, I think you should stay like that all day. It's an absolutely gorgeous view, and it would probably keep Kyle red in the face and tight in the pants for the whole day."

The response he got for that, was a pair of cargo shorts in the face.

**

* * *

**

I don't even know how to explain myself.


	6. Six

**Still working on getting around the legal copyrights on South Park... I'll let you know if I own it.**

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Butters? I'll understand if you don't."

For a moment, he thought about backing out. But looking up at the Deputy D.A.'s kind expression, he knew he wouldn't back down. Something about her light brown eyes projected understanding and sincerity. "I-I'll do it ma'am. I gave you my word and a Stotch never goes back on his word."

"Okay."

They were sitting in a small office inside the correctional facility, and Butters was being fitted with what Ms. Weston had called a wire—a small microphone that was being taped to his undershirt and would be hidden under his clothes. This reminded him of so many other strange things people had done to him. Being made to take credit for a book he hadn't written, being told to gain fifty pounds and then have liposuction surgery, being forced to make a music video for YouTube that was pretty much about _something_ going into his butt... But Cartman had orchestrated most of those things, and he was crazy and probably more than a little evil. This was different.

He trusted Ms. Weston. Something about her warm brown eyes, her way of talking to him like he was another person rather than just a kid... He trusted her a lot more than most adults he knew. "So what will I have to do?"

She smiled. "It's pretty simple, Butters. You just have to talk about Vicki—even in passing—and if Cartman's the way you say he is, it should set him off. Easy as that."

That sounded good. "And I'll be safe? I-I don't want to get punched or nothin'..."

"That's why the guards are there, and why he'll be in shackles like always."

This was okay—he would be protected. Ms. Weston had made sure of that. It strengthened Butters' resolve, and when they brought him into the visiting room, he only felt a little fear at seeing Cartman sitting there, and feeling the weight of the wire on his chest. "H-hey, Eric."

"Butters, you're a few days early; you usually come on Fridays."

"W-well, I wanted to see you before the hearing, to keep your spirits up, and I can't come tomorrow because Bebe and Token are having a bush party. I think they're just trying to top Vicki and Kenny's cow tipping party last night—"

That seemed to do the trick. "That bitch is out partying while I rot in here? Who the fuck does she think she is? She should be cowering at home, thinking about how badly I'm gonna fuck her up when I get out."

"B-but you wouldn't _really_ hurt her, would you Eric?" Butters feigned disbelief. "You'd be on parole and have people watchin' you all the time."

"She fuckin' set me up, Butters, and then goes fucking around with Kenny and probably that goddamn Jew too. It's my fucking turn, whether she wants it or not. And when I'm done, I'm going to cut her open, and rip out her black heart, and feed it to Kenny. So help me God, Butters, I'm gonna get my revenge."

"You'd really kill her?"

Cartman nodded. "I'll kill that bitch Vicki, and Kenny, and anyone else who tries to get in my way. And maybe even that Weston bitch who rigged the trial."

At this, Butters felt his blood begin to boil. "Ms. Weston is a very nice lady, who has helped Vicki a lot during the trial, and afterwards too. And you will not say such a horrible thing about her when all she's done is her job. You tried to kill Vicki, Eric—you attacked her with a knife and cut her up and they found you with your pants half off, and your wiener all hard, and that means you were gonna try to make Vicki have sex with you, and that's rape! You deserve to be locked up forever, Eric, and you should be thankful you only got five years. But DO NOT blame Ms. Weston!"

Cartman blinked, shocked beyond words, and then Butters was being led out of the room by one of the guards to the room where Ms. Weston was waiting, looking almost as shocked as Cartman had been. "I know; I lost my temper and probably ruined everything. Hamburgers, I'm sorry Ms. Weston."

"A-actually, you did really well, Butters." She replied, look of shock changing to a smile. "Really, really well. We have enough to possibly convict him of conspiracy to murder or uttering threats against an officer of the court."

Getting up from where she sat, she gave him a big hug. "And thank you for defending me, Butters. That was very sweet of you."

He felt himself blushing furiously, and was painfully aware of her breasts pretty much in his face. Why did he have to be so short? 'She's a grown-up, Butters.' He chastised himself. 'A grown up lady, and a lawyer, and you're just a ten year old boy.' Who was a little tight in the pants right now. Oh hamburgers...

"Ms. Weston, can I go now? I-I'm not feelin' so good."

She let him go. "Sure Butters. And don't worry about the recording—we can edit out the extra parts."

He nodded, and raced to the nearest men's room to splash cold water on his face. He was not going to let a little attraction to the Deputy D.A. shake him. They had a hearing to get through! There were much more important things than what his wiener seemed to want. Though he had to admit, that had been awfully embarrassing.

"Suck it up, Butters Stotch." He said to his reflection. "You may not be a man yet, but this is manly business, and Vicki and Kenny's lives are at stake, sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph."

_****************************************And you'd give anything to get what's fair__****************************************_

Vicki watched as her boyfriend's character died, and he swore loudly. They'd migrated to Stan's house, where the boys had opted to play some sort of first-person war game—the kind that she absolutely sucked at. Give her Rock Band and she could own their asses, but anything first-person or mission-oriented and she was lost.

So instead Kyle was owning Stan and Kenny's asses from his spot on the floor, Stan was putting up a fight from the armchair, and Kenny had had his ass handed to him with his head resting on her lap, and body stretched along the couch. It was a cozy moment, that reminded Vicki of hanging out with Matt and her friends back in Arizona. Overall, a good way to spend a Tuesday afternoon. And Bebe and Token had texted them to meet at Stark's Pond for a bush party tomorrow night, and maybe to get another keg or two.

"You sure you don't wanna try?" Kenny asked, waving the controller under her nose. "I bet the guys could throw on something a little easier... like Grand Theft Auto."

"You really think I wanna play a game that's all about fucking people up and hijacking cars?" She giggled. "I would rather play Heroin Hero."

Stan chucked the game over to her. "Have my copy. I keep worrying my dad will find it, start playing and become as addicted to that as he is to everything else."

"Yo, you tryin' to get my bitch hooked, Marsh?"

Vicki gave Kenny a light thump on the forehead. "You better watch who you're calling your bitch. And since when did you come from the Bronx?"

Rather than respond, Kenny just leaned up and pulled her down into a kiss. Causing Stan to start making gagging noises.

"Stan, are you still not past the barfing phase?" Kyle teased, earning a throw cushion being chucked at his head.

"I haven't done the barf thing since before Vicki came." He replied haughtily. "And when was the last time you kissed someone anyways?"

"Last night. Bebe wanted to know if we had chemistry."

Ohh... that was probably what had lead up to Kyle announcing to the rest of the world that Token couldn't get it up. That had been hilarious, and if Vicki hadn't been working hard to mend bridges with Bebe, she would have let everyone laugh. But she wasn't that person, and Bebe and Token didn't deserve that, so she distracted everyone by asking if anyone wanted to blow Kenny. Ironically, Annie had thought she was being serious. But Annie had had a bit too much to drink...

"I wonder if Token will beat your ass tomorrow." Kenny mused.

"What?" Kyle spluttered. "Bebe kissed me, and it was just a little kiss, and they're not really together—"

"I didn't mean for the kiss, dipshit; I meant for blabbing about his little 'problem'."

"Oh yeah; he'll probably beat the shit out of me."

"He'll probably kiss Vicki for providing a distraction." Stan added.

"Hey, I was just doing what I do best; using Kenny to make people as uncomfortable and distracted as possible."

They all nodded in agreement, and Kyle popped a new game into the console. "Hey, remember when you guys started sucking face in the back of class?"

They remembered. Mr. Garrison had forcibly pulled them apart, dragged them up to the front of the class, and threatened to use them in a sex ed demonstration. Which was hilarious, when Vicki really thought about it, because she probably would have been game for it. But Garrison had chickened out when they latched back on to each other's lips five minutes later.

"Remember that time you and Clyde were arguing about something, and I got so sick of it I kissed you to shut you up?" Vicki smirked as she watched Kyle blush. That had been funny. Not as sexy as a lot of things she did, but fun because the red-headed Jew had been so surprised, he'd actually slipped her a little tongue without thinking. Or, at least that was the official story.

"Are we just going to keep doing this 'remember when' thing? Because it's getting kinda old." Stan complained.

"Well it's not our fault you never did anything memory-worthy, Stan-my-man." Kenny snickered. "You need to go wild, cut loose, maybe yank Wendy's shirt up in the middle of the party tomorrow."

"Do you want me to die before I'm twelve? Remember; I'm not immortal, Kenny."

"...If it meant seeing Wendy's boobs, I think it would be worth it."

Vicki sighed, and flicked his nose like a dog's. "Ken, you already have the best pair in the grade at your disposal, do you really need Wendy's too?"

"Hey, a guy can never see enough boobs...unless he's gay. And then it's cocks."

She frowned. "Have you ever realized that a guy's junk isn't exactly aesthetically pleasing? Cause really, I'm sorry, but it just looks a little ridiculous Kenny."

He looked surprised, and pulling on his waistband on his shorts, took a look for himself. "...You have a point. So what do chicks like about us guys?"

How was she supposed to answer that? "Depends. Could be your eyes, your body-type, your ass—"

"Like Kyle's." Stan snickered, selecting his character, and then snatching Kenny's controller away from him to do the same before handing it back.

"Sure, like Kyle's." Vicki agreed, keeping her focus on her boyfriend. "It's kinda like how Craig is a butt man, and you're a breast man."

"So what are you; a butt girl?"

"...I'm not really sure, and I don't really care. Now why don't you focus on not getting pwned on this game too."

_*******************************************But fair ain't what you really need__*******************************************_

Wendy glanced at the clock, which read quarter after five. Where was he? Stan had promised her the night before that he would come over to her place, and he was late. Mind, the night before had not been the best time to get a promise out of him or the others. They had had a few beers, and Kyle had had a few more than that. She and the girls had stayed away from the stuff, aside from Vicki (who was 'one of the guys') and Millie (who was known to show off) so of course she remembered everything.

And really, it was irresponsible of them in the first place, getting a keg, and going cow tipping. Maybe that was what they did in Arizona (she'd heard it was Vicki's idea) but here in South Park, strange things happened every time they tried something like that. Mind, with Cartman locked up, things had gotten awfully quiet. There were no wacky molestation adventures, no one got AIDS, and Butters wasn't being grounded near as much. No, the only excitement nowadays was to do with Vicki and Kenny, and whatever they got up to with Kyle and Stan trailing behind like their _pets_ or something.

Two texts and ten minutes later, Stan finally called. "_Hey, sorry I didn't get back to you right away. It wasn't that I was ignoring you—Kenny just thought he'd be funny and hijacked my phone."_

Right. "Stan, did you forget you were coming over tonight?"

_"No."_ Liar. _"I just lost track of time. We were playing video games—well, Kyle, Kenny and I were playing, while Vicki was just being the cheering section—but we got going and then I didn't check what time it was..."_

He was with his friends, and they were having fun without her, again. Why was it always them? "Know what Stan? Don't worry about it; I'll just come over."

_"No, it's okay Wendy—I'll be there as soon as I kick them out of the house. Though I think my mom's thinking of asking them to stay for dinner... Maybe you should come over."_

Yep; he wasn't going to give up his friends to see her. "Okay, I'll be there in a bit." She said trying not to betray the annoyance she felt. "Love you."

"You too."

Hanging up, Wendy took a glance at herself in the mirror; she'd dressed up a bit tonight. Neckline a little lower, a hint of lip-gloss... and resting in her pocket was one of the little blue pills she'd gotten from Annie that morning. She would have used it tonight, but with plans being changed, maybe the party would be a better place. People would be less likely to notice; especially if Vicki and Kenny put on their usual show.

_***********************************************Do you see what I see?__************************************************_

Kyle couldn't help but notice that the atmosphere had gotten much more tense since Wendy had arrived. They were still talking, and Kenny was throwing food into Vicki's open mouth as they ate in the living room (Mrs. Marsh had made pizza, and the toppings were deemed to be perfect missiles.) but there was a lack of... laid-back and casualness that had been there earlier. Wendy had snuggled into Stan's side, and yet it seemed a little forced—like she was putting on a show and wanted them to see how close she and Stan really were.

"Stan, can I get you to give me a hand in the kitchen for a second?" Mrs. Marsh called from the doorway, and he disentangled himself from his girlfriend to go help her without a word. Leaving Kyle and Wendy sitting on opposite ends of the couch, while the other two lounged on the floor, oblivious to anything but pizza. Kyle took it as an opportunity.

"Wendy, is there something you maybe wanna talk about, about Stan?" He asked gently. "I know I'm not the number one guy to go to, but I'm his best friend."

"Why would I want to talk about Stan? Things are fine."

"They don't seem fine; they seem awkward. Like they did before you broke up before."

At that, Wendy glared. "I'm not breaking up with Stan, if that's what you're implying. I love him very much, and I hope that we stay together. And since when do you know so much about relationships, Kyle? You've never dated anyone."

That stung a bit. "Fine; forget I said anything."

They probably would have retreated into an icy silence, had Kenny not started howling with laughter at the pepperoni stuck on the end of his girlfriend's nose. The racket was so loud, it drew Stan out from the kitchen. "What the fuck's so—? Oh, that's real mature guys."

"Kenny and I might be all grown up in the sack, but we're still kids, dude." Vicki grinned up at him, un-sticking the pepperoni and throwing back at Kenny, where it hit his forehead with a wet smack. "Besides, we all know the most mature people here are currently pouting on the couch because 'their Stanny had to go help his mommy'."

"_Our_ Stanny?" Wendy looked horrified. "Why would Kyle be included in that, Vicki? Are you implying—?"

"I was joking, Wendy. Don't have a cow... unless you're planning on bringing it tomorrow night. I would love to see us turn the bush party into another cow-tipping party. That would be fucking hilarious."

"I still can't believe Token and Bebe actually _planned ahead_ for that." Stan chuckled. "I think they just want to prove they can throw a better party."

"If it turns out anything like Bebe's Stupid Spoiled Whore party, I'm out." Kyle couldn't help but add. He had vivid memories of being chased by a Kelly Whatsername who'd been pretty hell-bent on getting her hands on his junk.

"Don't worry Kyle, Vicki can rescue you like Mr. Slave did." Kenny laughed. "Though I think I might've gotten a BJ that night if he hadn't shown up and stopped the party, goddamn cock-block."

"Who's Mr. Slave?" Vicki asked, looking confused. Of course; they'd forgot to tell her. Well, they had a hard time remembering to tell her about _everyone_ they'd known.

"When Garrison was into men, and just after he went back to teaching fourth grade, he started dating a guy called Mr. Slave, the biggest whore South Park has ever known—aside from Mrs. Cartman." Stan explained. "When Garrison had a sex change, he left Garrison and got married to Big Gay Al."

"GARRISON USED TO BE A WOMAN?"

They hadn't told her that either? Kyle couldn't believe it. "He started out in the closet, then came out after we started the fourth grade, then decided he was actually a woman in a man's body, so he had a sex change—"

"And then the surgeon used his balls to make Kyle's knees when he had a negroplasty, and the scrotum was Mr. Broflovski's fin when he had a dolphinplasty." Kenny interjected, earning a glare from Kyle. Did he really have to bring up the negroplasty? And the fact that he'd had Garrison's balls incorporated into his body? It still gave him nightmares the odd time...

"_Anyways_, after that, Garrison got pissed off with men and became a lesbian for a bit, then had the genetic scientists at the lab grow him a penis on a mouse. So he became a man again. And now he's probably bi, and decided to keep it to himself for once in his life."

Vicki stared, then blinked rapidly, then began to snicker, and finally ended up rolling on the floor, laughing her ass off.

"I think you melted her brain, Kyle." Kenny said with a mock glare. "Now how am I gonna pass sixth grade?"

"Maybe you'll have to blow the dust off that mess you call a brain and use it." He retorted with ease. After all, they did this a lot.

"Not if we have Garrison again. Then I just have to compete with Craig for most times sent out of class to good old Mr. Mackey."

Vicki finally seemed to regain her composure. "Just remember Kenny; 'swearin's bad, sex's bad, and drugs're just bad, M'kay?'"

Kyle couldn't help it; he nearly pissed himself laughing. She sounded so much like Mackey... Even Wendy was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. "Oh my god..." Stan heaved between laughs. "You're gonna... fuckin' kill me... Vicki."

"Oughta... pay you...to do that... in front of him..." Kyle choked out

"Good idea; that'll keep Kenny from whoring himself out for a week." She grinned.

Wendy was starting to look decidedly uncomfortable. "Speaking of money, where did you get the money to buy that keg for last night?"

"Well, my parents filed a civil suit against Cartman's mom, and they got a settlement out of court." Vicki told them. "Everything that didn't go to the lawyer or my medical bills went to me; my parents called it pain and suffering payment. Frankly, I don't think they wanted to deal with a daughter who'd been sexually assaulted and figured the money let them off the hook."

"But you were alright."

"That's because I'm not some useless twat who lets it control the rest of their life. I would rather die than know Cartman's affected my future."

Vicki's expression was defiant, but Kyle could still see the grip she had on her boyfriend's wrist. It did affect her, maybe in ways she just didn't understand.

**

* * *

**

And there's really nothin' else to say...drugs're just bad, m'kay?


	7. Seven

**So does it count as owning South Park when you have Matt and Trey tied up in your basement? Probably not.**

* * *

It was not even noon, and already they were fighting about the party. When Token had suggested raiding his parents' liquor cabinet for the strong stuff, Bebe had flipped a shit. "Why the fuck do you need to get any more wasted than you were at the Cow Tipping?"

"Why the fuck do you care so much Bebe? It's not like you minded when I was too busy drinking to notice you kiss Kyle. Tweek had to tell me about it yesterday."

Like he even cared she'd kissed another guy. "Okay first, Kyle is desperately hung up on Vicki so he certainly wasn't going to steal me away. Second, since when do you give a fuck; you hardly touch me anymore anyways. Ever since the start of summer, you've been worse than even Stan when it comes to physical affection."

It was the truth; he'd hardly kissed her since the end of school. They'd been on maybe a handful of dates in the last few months, and when she questioned him about it, he just shrugged her off. But they were still calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. They still came to parties together and left them together, even if they hardly spoke the entire time. It was like being married—boring and stale, only without a ring and a pre-nup.

"You want to be treated like Kenny treats Vicki?" Token asked in retaliation. "Because I can tell you right now, after this hearing, he's going to go right back to pounding her into the mattress and not talking to her about jack shit. And eventually, Vicki's gonna leave him because that's not a relationship—that's just fuck-buddies."

"Do you see the way he looks at her, even? Vicki is Kenny's whole world; he loves her more than he even loves boobs. And you _never_ look at me like that—never make me feel like I mean that much to you."

Then it hit her; she didn't mean that much to him. She was just some chick who was convenient to have around. Like a trophy wife you didn't care about, and she knew it, so you bought her stuff to shut her up about it. That's what they were; two people who were together because it was what was expected of them. They were Bebe and Token; The Gold-digger and The Meal Ticket. And she didn't want them to be that.

"Bring the booze if you want, Token; I won't be there."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "What?"

"I'm done." Reaching up around her neck, she unclasped the necklace he'd given her for Valentine's Day. "You don't have a 'problem'—you just don't want me. And I need someone who loves me as much as Kenny loves Vicki."

"Bebe..." He tried to reach out for her as she headed to the door, but Bebe just skirted around him. Grasping the doorknob, she dared to give him one last glance back.

"I'll see you at the hearing."

As soon as she was out of the Black house, Bebe called Vicki. Normally it would have been Wendy she turned to at a moment like this, but Wendy was unstable enough in her own relationship. Vicki was the one with answers and support.

"_Bebe..?"_ The grogginess in her voice and the sound of Kenny's grumbles in the background told her she'd woken them both.

"Vicki, Token and I... I broke things off with him."

"_What? Oh Bebe, I'm sorry...I mean, I know you guys were having a few 'problems' but..."_

"It's not just that." She sniffled, just starting to feel the tears. "I just realized that Token doesn't really care about me the way I want him to. It's like we're... friends."

Vicki seemed to think hard for a moment. _"Do you remember why you started dating him?"_

"Not really..."

"_Then it was probably because it was 'only logical' and that's the worst reason to be together. I'm with Kenny because he rocks my socks off, and cares about me even more than Kyle. Kyle gave up when you lied to them—Kenny didn't. He came to get answers from me. Really, I should have thanked you for being the final test, Bebe. Even if you were trying to ruin things."_

That was the first time since they'd become proper friends that Vicki had mentioned the end of the contest from all those months ago. "Maybe I should thank you, Vicki—you kinda proved that love isn't always in the most expensive wrappings. Maybe I should try Kenny's brother Kevin."

"_No!"_ Vicki almost shouted. _"He's really not a good guy—trust me. Maybe just... just keep your eyes open, Bebe."_

"I will." She agreed. "And thanks, Vicki. You're a pretty good friend."

"_Any time Bebe; you know I'd make Kenny stop if you needed me."_

Hanging up, Bebe couldn't help rolling her eyes a bit. Vicki was a good friend, but she couldn't help being... Well, there was no other way to say it except that her brain didn't have much of a sex filter; it let everything pass from her orgasm-baked mind, straight to her mouth. And frankly the idea of catching Vicki and Kenny in the middle of sex—even if she was only calling—was about ten kinds of awkward.

_*****************************************Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could__****************************************_

It didn't seem possible, but for once, Kenny couldn't help feeling like going home. This party...

Well first off, Bebe wasn't even there for the party she'd planned. She was at home watching chick flicks with Rebecca. Secondly, most of the girls weren't there, aside from Wendy who was hanging all over Stan, Vicki who was playing beer ball against Craig, and Millie and Annie, who looked about two steps from lezzing out. Thirdly, the music was a little too loud and people were getting a little too drunk; it reminded him of parties at his cousin Andy's place, where that one guy had tried to molest him and wound up with no left testicle.

And frankly, knowing that they were only about ten minutes away from the peace and quiet of the tree house... Kenny wasn't even sure he needed Vicki to be there with him. In all honesty, he wouldn't have minded just having a little time by himself, eating chips and reading Sports Illustrated Swimsuit. And not just looking at the awesome tits, but reading the articles too. There was some good shit published between the boobs; those people knew how to write.

"Kenny, you okay?" Kyle asked, coming up to him holding a coke. Looked like he wasn't the only one not interested in getting trashed the night before the hearing.

"I'm fine... This just kinda sucks."

"Maybe because the Cow Tipping went so great, we all got high expectations."

He nodded in agreement. "Kyle, do you think there's some fucked up shit going on that we don't know about?"

The red-head frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well Wendy's been acting weird lately—I mean, she actually came over to hang with us yesterday—and then this morning, Bebe called Vicki to tell her she and Token broke up. And then check that out."

He pointed in the direction of Clyde, Token, Tweek and, oddly enough, Butters. They had set up a bar of sorts on a huge flat tree stump, and were doing shots. "Did you ever think you would see Butters Stotch doing shots?"

"I never thought I'd see him do anything with those guys."

They watched as Butters suddenly stepped away from the group, and barfed on the ground as the others cheered. "Yeah, I can't even watch that." Kenny admitted, turning away. "There's nothing cool about a guy blowing chunks because he took shots with the cool kids."

"Talking about Butters?" Vicki asked, drifting over to join them. She didn't smell like beer, so she must have lost the game. "I don't really know why he's here. Maybe I should go rescue him."

"Maybe I should go rescue Stan." Kyle suggested, motioning to where he stood with Wendy, who now had her hand shoved down the front of his jeans. To Kenny though, it looked like Stan was being tortured.

"If you rescue Stan, and Vicki rescues Butters, who am I supposed to rescue?"

Vick shrugged. "You could rescue Millie from Annie. She looks like she could use a man right now."

"I don't blame her. Annie's a bit of a grabby one."

"Oh and how would you know?"

Shit, Vicki had that look on her face. "Well, we told you a bit about Bebe's stupid spoiled whore party, right? Well I spent the night being chased by a Ketamine-crazed Annie."

Rolling her eyes, Vicki seemed to accept it for the moment. "Okay, well let's go rescue them and then get out of here; sound cool?"

"Are we taking Butters and Millie with us?" Kyle asked.

"We'll drop Millie off at Rebecca's and Butters needs to either go home or the hospital; I can't decide which. Ready?"

"Break!"

Kenny made his way over to Millie and Annie as the others dashed off to the rescue. From what he could see, both girls were pretty hammered, and Annie was certainly trying to get her hands on Millie's boobs. Unfortunately for her, she didn't have much to grab on to. "Ladies, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Millie's just so pretty..." Annie slurred, kissing her friend on the cheek. "Don't you think she's pretty, Kenny? 'Course you've got Vicki and she's fuckin' hot... like 'I want to scissor her' hot..."

"As awesome as that would be to see, Annie, I think you've had too much to drink, and so has Millie. So if you want, Craig Tucker would probably fuck you."

"Cool..." She started teetering her way over to where Craig was now playing beer ball with Jason. "_Craig... I need you in me..."_

Millie started laughing so hard she fell on her ass. "That's so... Thanks Kenny... She's still... Stupid whore..."

Hauling the drunken girl to her feet, Kenny gave her a saucy smirk, and started steering her in the direction of Vicki, who was supporting Butters as he hurled into the bushes. "Anytime you need rescuing from a drunken lesbian, I'm more than glad to help you out. Now let's get you and Butters outta here before someone rapes you."

"R-r-rapes me?" Butters stuttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Oh please, Vicki, don't l-l-let anyone rape me!"

Vicki shot daggers at her boyfriend. "Don't worry Butters, no one is going to rape you. Not while I'm around."

"B-b-but what about when you're n-n-not around?"

"Nobody will rape you Butters. At least not from our class."

The poor kid looked a teensy bit better, and hugged her tightly. "T-t-thanks Vicki. I-I-I feel a lot better now."

That was when the screaming started.

"KYLE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

It was Wendy, holding on to Stan's arm as both boys tried to tug him away. "STAN WANTS TO LEAVE!"

She just held on tighter. "YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO STEAL HIM THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. WELL GUESS WHAT KYLE, HE'S _MY BOYFRIEND_, NOT YOURS!"

That was far enough. Kenny and Vicki both raced over there to drag them apart, though Wendy was putting up such a fight, Vicki needed Clyde and Craig to help her. "Wendy, settle the fuck down! Kyle's not trying to steal your boyfriend; he's pretty damn straight. But you are getting out of line."

"I'm just trying to be at a party with my boyfriend!"

Stan seemed to be speechless, but Kyle was more than willing to speak on his behalf. "All night, all you've been doing is trying to feel him up and keep his tongue down your throat like a shameless slut!"

"Oh, that's real mature, Kyle; we all know I'm not the shameless slut of South Park. No, she's the one trying to tell me to keep my hands off my own man, when we all know that tomorrow night, she's going to be screaming so loud, they'll hear her in Denver!"

Kenny felt his protective instinct coming on; the one that had broken Cartman's nose before he got stabbed. But he wouldn't break Wendy's nose, though Kyle looked as though he might. He was redder than Cartman had ever made him, and straining against Tweek, who was currently holding him back. "Don't you fucking talk about Vicki like that when all she's done is try to help you." He snarled. "Vicki is twice the woman you are!"

"ENOUGH!" Stan finally shouted and everyone fell silent. "I don't want to fucking deal with this tonight! I'm going home."

They all watched in silent shock as he took off into the night, leaving Wendy, Kyle, Vicki, Kenny, and the crowd around them in open-mouthed astonishment. Stan never lost his cool like that; he was the peace-maker, the negotiator, the strength; and he had just stormed out of a party in a move worthy of Cartman.

Kenny glanced over at Butters and Millie, who were leaning against one another, looking a little scared. "Maybe we should take them home." He said to Vicki quietly, and pulled her away from the group with a gentle grasp on her wrist. "I think the party's over."

"That sounds good. I don't want to be here anymore."

_***********************************Steady feet don't fail me now, Gonna run 'til you can't walk__************************************_

They made their way through the woods to Stark's Pond, each keeping a good grip on Millie and Butters' hands. From there it was only a short ways to Rebecca's house where they were dropping Millie off. Bebe greeted them at the door with a look that said someone had texted her about what had happened. "Think they'll break up?" She asked quietly.

Vicki shrugged. "I don't really know anymore."

They left, and started heading towards Butters' house. "Think you'll be okay, Butters?" Kenny asked him. Frankly, the kid didn't seem okay—he was being supported between the two of them, and looking paler than ever.

"I-I think m'p-p-parents are gonna ground me fer'sure." He half stuttered, half slurred.

Vicki gave Kenny a look over his head. "Do you want to stay with us tonight?"

"I-I won't b'in the way, will I? 'Cause I don't wanna stop ya..."

"Kenny and I still have one more night to go, Butters." She reminded him gently. "You won't be in the way."

He nodded, and they began to steer him in the direction of Vicki's house. Her parents were away at a wedding and seemed to trust their daughter enough that they had left her alone for the night. Kenny had a feeling the wedding was just an acceptable excuse to get away just before the parole hearing. They had dealt with the whole process by letting everyone else deal with Vicki; this was no exception.

Once they were inside and had hauled Butters upstairs, they had a decision to make. Butters was looking and smelling pretty rank. So much so that if they let him sleep in her parents' room, they would know, but if he slept with them it would keep them up all night. So, to bathe Butters, or not to bathe Butters?

"C'mon you." Kenny decided, hauling him into the bathroom. "Get your clothes off and get in the tub."

Butters didn't even question why; he just stripped, and sat obediently in the porcelain bathtub, waiting as Kenny took the hand-held shower head and tested the temperature before soaking him head to toe. Grabbing the shampoo from the side of the tub, he scrubbed it through the smaller boy's light blonde hair before tilting his head back and rinsing out the pear-scented suds. Grabbing the soap, Kenny handed it to Butters, who managed to lather the rest of himself up just fine, and hardly seemed conscious of the other boy being there as he washed his junk with a rather detached, routine-oriented expression. Spraying him off, Kenny hauled Butters out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel.

"Dry off, 'kay?" He instructed him before leaving the bathroom and heading into Vicki's room, where she was already in an old tank-top and a pair of his boxers (he'd wondered where they'd gone).

"Does our little boy smell better now, Ken?" She asked with a soft giggle.

"About twenty times better." He informed her. "So, is he staying in here with us?"

"May as well. I don't want him puking in his sleep and choking on it. I know that's more your type of move, but it could happen."

"Okay." They'd share their bed with someone else one last time. "But if he starts anything..."

"With me, or with you?" Vicki asked cheekily.

"Either one; he's on the window seat."

"The w-window seat?" Butters stood in the doorway, clothes in one hand, towel in the other, and wearing dark grey briefs. "You w-want me to sleep there?"

"Nah, Butters; you can sleep in the bed." Vicki assured him, rummaging around in her drawers. "And you can wear... this."

Kenny suppressed a snort of laughter as she held up a Green Day: American Idiot tour t-shirt. Yes, Jesus of Suburbia was _very_ Butters Stotch. "Y-you sure, Vicki?"

She threw it at him in response, and Butters pulled the tee over his head without a word more. The black fabric hung to his knees, and Kenny suddenly felt better about the kid being in their bed. Stripping down to t-shirt and shorts himself, they all climbed into the double-sized bed; Butters on the wall side, Vicki in the middle, and Kenny on the edge side again. Only this time there weren't four of them on his narrow twin. This time he had a little breathing room to pull his girlfriend into his arms, and easily drift off without a word.

**

* * *

**

I dedicate Token's bush party to my ex-friend Chelsea, who throws probably the crappiest house parties I've ever been to.


	8. Eight

**I have no idea how Parole hearings are conducted in the state of Colorado. (Doesn't help I'm Canadian) So for all those lawyers and law students who probably shouldn't be wasting their time on South Park or Fan Fiction, forgive my creative license on this one.**

* * *

The morning of the hearing dawned grey and miserable for July, and Kyle couldn't help but think that he had to really care about his friends to get out of bed on a day like this. Either that or he was a masochist. But he dragged himself out of bed anyways, knowing that over at Vicki's house, she and Kenny, and probably Butters were doing the same thing, as were Stan, and Wendy, and Bebe, and all the rest of them who had promised to be there to see that Cartman didn't get out. Because they loved their friends.

Going downstairs to the kitchen, he could smell turkey bacon cooking—today was a meat day. "Morning, Bubbe." his mom greeted him cheerfully. "Ready for the hearing?"

"I don't really have to be—I'm not the one who's testifying." He reminded her.

"I know, but you're still supporting your friends, and that's a job in itself. Do you remember when Kenny was so sick in the hospital, and we did everything we could to support the McCormick's?"

He didn't remember much—Kenny had been dying that whole time, and from what they could tell, they would forget or remember differently like it seemed his mother had, whenever Kenny came back. But she didn't even know Kenny could die and come back. "Yeah Ma, I remember."

"It was such a hard time for them." She continued. "Poor Carol is one of those women I don't envy at all. According to your father, her family was poor, but she was bent on making something of herself, until she hooked up with Stuart and they had Kevin..."

Kyle couldn't help tuning her out. He knew this story, and she knew he knew it; everyone in South Park knew about how Kevin McCormick had been born a bastard child, and then they'd gotten married and had Kenny when his mom was only seventeen. Yeah, she'd been a fifteen year old new mother with a twenty-one year old drunken boyfriend, living in a play-fort. And who knew; maybe that would be Kenny and Vicki in a few years. Or maybe they'd manage to make something of their lives. But that was a long ways away, and he just needed to get through today, and the hearing.

"I better go, Ma. I'll see you later."

He could feel her concerned gaze following him out the door. She had debated letting him stay friends with Kenny and Vicki after the attack, and it had taken a lot of insisting it wasn't their fault, and being even stronger-willed than Sheila Broflovski, before she gave in. Then she had met Vicki and been charmed by her like all adults were. Kyle had never been so relieved someone met his mother's approval before in his life.

Arriving at the Juvenile Hall, Kyle was glad to see their class, lead by Token, standing in the parking lot with picket signs saying things like 'OMG, He Nearly Killed Kenny and Vicki!' and 'Don't Let The Bastard Out'. Token was grinning like a maniac, and they were all yelling like lunatics "FOR KENNY AND VICKI!" Kyle guessed some of them hadn't slept, or even bothered to sober up from the night before.

"Dude, you think they'll get arrested for being drunk and disorderly?" Kenny appeared beside him, followed by Vicki, and Butters. The younger boy looked pretty damn hung-over, but luckily wouldn't be testifying until last.

"Barbradey wouldn't even realize they're drunk, let alone stop a protest." Vicki replied with a smirk. "So is Stan here yet?"

Kyle shrugged. "I haven't seen him. But he's probably inside; he was pretty pissed off last night."

"I texted him this morning, but he wouldn't answer. I know it's not really my fault or business, but I feel pretty damn guilty."

She felt guilty? "Vicki, you were being rational. I'm the one who called Wendy a slut."

"Maybe Wendy just needs to learn what it's like to get what she's asking for." Kenny suggested. "If she wants to be treated like a slut, I'll treat her like one!"

Vicki rolled her eyes. "No, you are not going to make Wendy deep-throat you, smack her around, and then give her anal, Ken. That wouldn't solve anything."

Kyle couldn't help but shudder at the idea of Kenny fucking Wendy up the ass. Not a pleasant thought. "Well, we better head in, guys."

Walking through the crowd, Kyle couldn't help noticing that Annie was clinging to Craig, who seemed bent on shaking her off, while glaring accusingly at Kenny. "What did you do to Craig last night?"

"I just rescued Millie from Annie by sending her to get fucked by Craig."

"I don't think Craig appreciated that, Kenny."

Entering through the glass double doors, they were directed through a scanner, questioned about their purpose there, and then directed to a waiting room off the hearing room. There, they found Stan sitting with his arm around Wendy. Apparently all was forgiven, so far as she went. As for Kyle... "Hey Stan..."

"Hey. Before you say it, I don't wanna talk about last night. Token was an idiot to throw a party when everyone's on edge about this shit, and I think we all said shit we didn't mean."

Wendy nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry I called you a shameless slut Vicki. You were just trying to be a good friend."

"You weren't exactly wrong, Wendy—I _am_ a slut, and I'm not ashamed of it. But I accept your apology. You meant for it to hurt, and that was wrong, but you also see that was wrong, so apology accepted."

There was a tense moment when Kyle locked eyes with Wendy. She was still pissed at him, and it suddenly dawned on Kyle that she'd probably thought she would've gotten lucky, if he hadn't interfered. "If you think we're going to apologize and make up and everything will be cool, you're wrong, Wendy. I'm not doing that bullshit."

Before she could say another word, the Deputy DA appeared in the doorway. "There's been a bit of a change in the line-up. Stan, they want you first."

He nodded, looking a little sick, but followed her anyways. The hearing had begun.

_**************************************Something pulls my focus out, And I'm standing down__*************************************_

Vicki was a bundle of nerves as she followed Ms. Weston into the hearing room. It was nothing like the courtroom—just a chair facing a table behind which the parole board members sat. They looked a lot more imposing than the jury at the trial; then again, all it had taken was one look at the scar on her face to win the sympathy of everyone in the court. This time, the scar was a lot more faded, and they weren't trying to decided if Cartman was guilty- just if he was going to reoffend.

"Miss Victoria Monroe, age ten years old, former resident of Phoenix, Arizona currently residing in South Park, Colorado, correct?" One of them asked—the man in the middle of the table.

"Yes sir. I moved approximately one week before the attack Eric Cartman was convicted of."

"That is an awfully short amount of time to develop the _vendetta_ Ms. Weston has been claiming with your testimony as support."

Vicki resisted the urge to shrug. "I understand it looks unreasonable, but I rejected Eric's romantic advances, and he took it badly. I didn't even understand the extent it angered him until my friend Stan Marsh informed my new boyfriend and I the day of the attack."

"Stan Marsh claimed he was irrational and planning to harm you?" Another one—an older woman at the left end—asked.

She nodded. "Stan had gone to see him earlier, and Eric confided in him plans for revenge. He was then threatened into not going to the police. He was scared, and with the history I know you've been informed of, I don't blame him. I was scared."

"If you were scared of Eric, why did you arrange to meet him that night?"

"I didn't want to spend the rest of my life being scared of him—because then he would have won. So I arranged to meet him at Stark's Pond, then called the police to the scene. I then met him there intending for him to be caught beating me up. I could handle being beaten—I grew up in a neighbourhood full of boys to play with, and fought with them physically enough times. But I wasn't expecting him to bring a knife, and I wasn't expecting him to make it a sexual assault."

Vicki could feel the blood draining out of her face slowly as they wrote down what she had said, but continued anyways. "I know I don't have a degree in criminology, or psychology, or whatever degrees you people hold to be on this board. But I know that every person my friends have sent to see Eric Cartman has said the same thing; the moment they bring up my boyfriend Kenny or I, he swears that he'll 'get revenge' or 'finish what he started'. And the idea of Eric Cartman getting out of here scares me—because I know that Eric Cartman is a good manipulator, and liar, and he could probably convince you to let him out if no one would testify against him. And then he'd come straight for Kenny and me."

They looked shocked by her words, and one younger woman was wiping away a tear that was snaking its was down her cheek. "You genuinely fear for your life, Victoria?" The head of the board asked.

"I do."

"Then I think we can let you go. Thank you."

Getting out of her seat, Vicki felt her knees trembling. But Ms. Weston rushed to her side, and put an arm around her shoulders. "You did great, honey. Really great—I'm really proud of you Vicki."

Re-entering the waiting room, Ms. Weston passed her to Kyle, and they watched as Kenny followed the Deputy DA out.

"Vicki, you should sit down." He began fussing, sounding more like his mother than he would have cared to admit.

"Kyle, I'm fine... I'm just a little shook up. I didn't think I'd get so emotional..."

Shook up was hardly the word for it. She felt like her heart was about to leap up her throat and make a break for it, it was pounding so hard. But she needed to focus on breathing out—hyper-oxygenation would not help her any. Glancing over at Stan, Vicki couldn't help but feel better; she wasn't the only one shook up. He had his head in his hands, sweating, and flushed. Wendy was fussing over him too, but she looked oddly worried. Really worried.

Getting up, Vicki pulled Wendy aside. "Wendy, what's got you so worried about Stan right now?"

"He's really not feeling good, Vic, and—"

"And?"

She took a deep breath and hung her head in shame. "It wasn't supposed to go into effect for two or three hours."

"What wasn't supposed to—?" Oh no. "Wendy, what did you give Stan?"

Rather than answer her, Wendy pulled a small plastic baggie out of the back pocket of her shorts. Inside was one solitary little blue pill. The iconic, used around the world by millions of men, little blue pill.

"WENDY! Why the fuck would you give Stan VIAGRA?"

Stan's head shot up out of his hands. "Wendy, YOU DID THIS TO ME?"

Kyle and Butters were staring at them like they were fucking insane. Grabbing Wendy and Stan both, Vicki dragged them out into the hallway and down to the men's room. This was too far; holy shit this was too far. Wendy had backed up to the wall, and Stan had made to sit down, but Vicki put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, eyes taking a general look in the direction of the now-obvious erection straining against his shorts. He had to make it through this confrontation-conversation, and he had to do it standing up, or else nothing would change.

"Wendy, what the fuck do you have to say for yourself?" She asked firmly.

"I know you told me to wait, Vicki, but I thought maybe if I could speed up the process a little bit..."

"Wendy, you gave me a drug to get a boner?" Stan grabbed her shoulders and shook her a bit. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's...It's..." Wendy started to cry. "I was jealous, okay? I want what Kenny and Vicki have; I thought it would make us closer!"

She thought they were closer because of sex? "Wendy, Kenny and I are closer because we try to be on the same page of what we want in our relationship. Sex can bring people closer together, but it can also tear us apart. Because we either don't agree on it like you and Stan, or you use it as a way to avoid having to communicate and have a real relationship, like I was afraid Kenny and I were doing. Sex doesn't mean love, and love doesn't have to have sex.

"That's what this week between Kenny and I has really been about, and all week I've been trying to define what I wanted to get out of it. I wanted to get rid of all the lust, and just focus on the love. Because I love Kenny, and I love 'my boys', and my other friends, and my life. I love that I'm alive, when six months ago I nearly died. But I didn't—I'm still here—and Kenny and I are still together."

The tears were still snaking their way down Wendy's face, and Stan looked torn between anger and compassion. She could understand it; he loved her, even though he was angry and hurt by her actions. He loved her, and he could probably see where he needed to work on their relationship himself.

"That's all I have to say." Vicki sighed. "So I'm gonna leave you to make up now. I'll keep guard outside the door." Grabbing the door handle, she paused. "And Wendy?"

"Yeah?"

"One must lie in the bed one has made. So I suggest you take advantage of a good guard."

Both of them blushed crimson, and Vicki couldn't help letting out a chuckle to herself before exiting the bathroom, and coming face to face with Kyle.

"Vicki, did Wendy really give Stan Viagra?"

She shrugged. "Does it really matter what goes on between two people in their relationship? But you better go let Kenny know where I am; he'll get worried if he comes back and I'm not there."

_**************************************Stop and stare, I think I'm moving but I go nowhere__**************************************_

Butters fidgeted in the chair nervously as the parole board stared at him. "I-I know I didn't testify at the trial, and originally I was going to ask you to move Eric from Juvie to a psych ward, because he definitely needs help. B-But Vicki and Kenny are my friends, and Eric has done nothing but bully me my whole life. Oh hamburgers, this wasn't how I wanted this to go. But I-I just wanted you nice folks to know that I've visited Eric every week since he was arrested, and I know better than anybody what he thinks. He wants to hurt Vicki even worse than he did."

Ms. Weston pointed a remote at the CD player sitting on the end of the table. "Butters was able to record, with our help, an example of what Eric Cartman has been saying during their visits." She hit play, and there was a moment of light static before the tape cut in.

_'That bitch is out partying while I rot in here? Who the fuck does she think she is? She should be cowering at home, thinking about how badly I'm gonna fuck her up when I get out.'_

_'B-but you wouldn't really hurt her, would you Eric? You'd be on parole and have people watchin' you all the time.'_

_'She fuckin' set me up, Butters, and then goes fucking around with Kenny and probably that goddamn Jew too. It's my fucking turn, whether she wants it or not. And when I'm done, I'm going to cut her open, and rip out her black heart, and feed it to Kenny. So help me God, Butters, I'm gonna get my revenge.'_

_'You'd really kill her?'_

'_I'll kill that bitch Vicki, and Kenny, and anyone else who tries to get in my way. And maybe even that Weston bitch who rigged the trial.'_

The parole board members looked shocked. They probably had never heard words like those come out of an eleven year old boy. Ms. Weston herself was looking a little pale. "You can understand why we wanted to share this with you."

They all nodded, and Butters caught one older lady whispering to the man next to her _"I think there was enough in there to charge him with Threats Against a Prosecutor."_

"Very well." The head of the board looked at Butters over the rims of his glasses. "You're free to go, young man. We'll be speaking with Eric Cartman, and then we should come back with a decision."

Butters stood, and felt Ms. Weston's hand on his shoulder. "You did wonderful, Butters. I'm really proud of you."

"I hope they don't let Eric out." He admitted. "Because I know if he gets out, and he wants to kill you still, Ms. Weston, he probably will. Unless he gets caught for killing Vicki or Kenny first. But I don't want to see any of you die when you didn't have to."

"Neither do I." She said, giving his shoulder a firm squeeze before they went back into the waiting room. "Alright everyone. They're going to speak with Cartman, and then make their decision. I'm going to suggest you go out and be with your friends out front. They'll probably be thrilled to see you."

_*******************************************Yeah I know that everyone gets scared__*******************************************_

Wendy couldn't quite believe what she'd done. She'd sucked Stan off, in the men's bathroom of Juvie, while Vicki kept guard. She'd been hoping to make it romantic, and special; a victory fuck after they got the board's results back. But instead she had clumsily blown Stan, who had come after only a couple of minutes, and certainly seemed like he enjoyed it. As for her... she couldn't see why some girls liked doing that.

Walking out into the parking lot where their friends were still gathered, she was almost immediately assaulted by Bebe. "Wendy don't give Stan the Viagra—I don't think he's the problem."

Uh... "Too late Bebe. I did, he got hard, I blew him in the bathroom."

She blinked. "Oh. Never mind then."

"Bebe, what the hell did you mean, you didn't think Stan was the problem?"

The blonde fidgeted with her hair for a moment, blushing a rather unflattering salmon color. "Well... remember how Token had a 'problem'? And then we broke up yesterday? Today, we were all talking, and then Token said he would throw a house party if they didn't let Cartman out, and..."

"And what?"

Annie chose that moment to butt in. "Oh, Clyde grabbed Token and kissed him and they ended up making out for like three minutes. So they're gay, and Bebe was thinking maybe Stan is too."

Wendy couldn't help face-palming. "Stan is not gay. He just needs time, and I think I need time too, after all. But no, Stan's not gay."

"Well that's good..." Bebe trailed off. Wendy felt a stab of pity—all that effort into a relationship with a guy who liked guys. But Token hadn't exactly screamed gay, and Clyde was such a flirtatious charmer. Who knew?

"What's good?" Vicki asked, joining them. Wendy resisted the urge to shoot her a glare for earlier, but answered instead.

"That Stan's 'problem' isn't because he's gay like Clyde and Token."

The brunette glanced over at Token, then at Bebe, then back at Token, then to Clyde. "Look at it this way, Bebe; now you can go after a guy who'll really appreciate you, and your gender."

She shrugged, and Wendy knew now was the time to bow out; she was Bebe's friend, but Vicki was the one with the advice and comfort, while she still had a couple more things to clear up. So instead, she sought out Kyle, and pulled him away from the group.

"Kyle, I know you said earlier that you don't want to listen to my apology, but hear me out, okay? I've been a bitch lately, and I've known it all along. But I was just jealous of Kenny and Vicki, because they were so happy, and I wanted to be happy with Stan, and it was stupid because everything I did to try to make us closer was driving us apart. But now that Stan and I have... you know... I don't think that's the answer. I think the answer is to be a better friend to you, and Vicki and Kenny, and all of Stan's friends."

He was staring at here with wide green eyes, and for a moment, Wendy thought he was going to laugh in her face. But Kyle just shook himself a bit, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's gonna take some work for me to trust you, Wendy— it's gonna take some work for Stan to trust you again—but I guess..."

This was it.

"... I can meet you halfway."

Wendy surprised even herself by hugging him. "I won't let you down, Kyle."

_***********************************But I've become what I can't be, Oh do you see what I see?__***********************************_

Kenny could feel Vicki's tension as he held her hand. She was gripping his so tight, he could feel every one of her finger bones. She was nervous, and a little scared, and probably hated that her fate rested in the hands of strangers again. She liked having control of her life, and right now it was out of control. But they had to wait here, in the waiting room, rather than in the hearing room. Ms. Weston was in there, but so was Cartman. And while it had been hard enough to be in the courtroom with him, being in such a small room with the bastard was just cruel.

"If they let him go, Vic," He whispered to her, reassuringly. "We'll leave. We'll run away to Canada, or Mexico, or maybe Peru. But I won't let him get you; I promise."

Vicki just squeezed his hand tighter, and then let go as Ms. Weston can through the door, smiling. "Parole has been denied, and will stay that way while they charge him for threatening an officer of the court."

They all let out a collective sigh of relief, and Wendy burst into tears. It was over; they would be safe, and okay. It was over. Kenny hugged Vicki tightly to him. "Looks like we won't be leaving South Park." He chuckled into her hair. "Which is good 'cause I'm broke."

She let out a shaky laugh, and pulled back far enough to kiss him. "We can work without the perks; just you and me. That's all we need, Ken."

They'd be alright. "So, ready to get out of here?"

Vicki nodded, and they got up and left the waiting room. Out in the parking lot, they were immediately assaulted by the rest of the class. "WELL?"

"Cartman's not going anywhere." Vicki beamed, and before they could be clobbered by their over-enthusiastic friends, high-tailed it out of there. They'd made it through the hearing, they'd made it through one week without sex, and now all they really wanted was some time alone, in the place where it all started.

Running past Stark's Pond, down the path, and to the tree house, they scrambled up the ladder and collapsed inside, laughing like loons. "IT'S OVER!" Kenny shouted out the window like a proclamation to the world. "IT'S FINALLY OVER AND I'M TOTALLY GETTING LAID TONIGHT!"

"More like right now." Vicki purred, pulling Kenny back into the tree house, and kissing him deeply, hands in his front pockets pulling him closer.

"Right now?"

"I need you to fuck me right now."

Kenny grinned, and pulled her down onto the floor, both shedding clothes as naturally as a snake sheds its skin. This was what he'd been craving all week. To be this close to Vicki, to feel her beautiful body beneath his hands, to make her his whole world as he became hers...

Stroking up her wet folds, Kenny teased the nub of her clit with one fingertip, before sinking two fingers into her beautifully tight heat, and curling them into her sweet spot in a way that made her gasp and claw at the back of his neck. "Oh shit... Kenny..."

A few flicks of his thumb across her clit, and curls into the g-spot, and Vicki's walls were spasming around his fingers as she orgasmed, clutching at his neck and shoulders, keening his name out in a part gasp, part whine, part scream. It was beautiful; she was beautiful when she came undone. And Vicki had no idea just how beautiful to him she really was.

Giving her a second, Kenny pumped on his iron-hard length a few times, coating himself with Vicki's juices, and mixing them with his own pre-come. This was how God meant for it to be—just two people doing what they did best. And that was the thought that he carried as he finally pressed into that beautiful heat, and joined Vicki—mind, body and heart.

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So only one more chapter to go...


	9. Epilogue

**So this is it... the end. To everyone (or anyone) who read this thing all the way through, hope you were entertained, or at least distracted from more important things in your lives (I know I was... who cares about first year chemistry?)**

**Special thanks to Hoppin'OnBalls and especially Jennhaaboo. Your reviews are what kept me from feeling... rather voiceless in a new fandom for me. Love ya both!**

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Stan groaned as his character died, and could do nothing but glare at his killer. "Goddamnit Wendy; thanks a lot."

"Any time, babe."

They were sitting in the Marsh's living room again, with Kyle, Vicki, Kenny and Butters. It was a typical Friday morning, with the sun streaming through the open windows, and his mother humming to herself in the kitchen. Vicki and Butters had decided not to play, and were egging on Kenny and Kyle respectively instead, as Wendy owned both their asses. Two weeks after all the drama of the hearing, and there was peace.

"Oh my god, she fucking killed me!" Kenny exclaimed as his character died a bloody and painful death. "Bastard!"

Wendy just smirked at him evilly. "It's what you get for saying chicks can't play video games."

"Well, Vicki can't."

"Vicki is one chick."

"No, Vicki is _the_ chick." He grinned, pulling Vicki off the chair she was lazing in, and onto his lap. "The best chick in the universe..."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "If you guys start groping each other, I'm going to barf."

"Fine. I'll grope you instead, Kyle." Vicki replied sweetly, and pounced on the red-head, kissing him soundly and distracting him long enough from the game for Wendy to deliver the death blow.

"Kenny, can you get your horny girlfriend off me?" Kyle complained, pushing Vicki off himself, and flushing the same shade as his hair.

"If she wants to fuck you dude, I've got no control over that."

They all laughed, but Stan saw the look that passed between Kyle and Vicki. It was starting to become less a matter of 'if' and more a matter of 'when'. They had this little something between them. Something that was not the blazing sun of Vicki and Kenny's love, but more like the moonlight—another refection of that same sun, only different. Or something like that anyway.

"Don't worry Kyle, your virtue is safe for another day." Vicki said as solemnly as one could while straddling their friend's lap. Then she bounced off him, and landed on Kenny, pinning him to the carpet. "Besides, I've gotta take care of this pervert first."

Kenny just laughed, and turned to Wendy. "Start taking notes, Wends. Sex is just another drug, and now that Stanny Boy's had a taste, he'll never wanna quit."

"Funny, seeing as I'm the one who did all the tasting." She deadpanned, and they all laughed as Stan felt his face go red, and his pants tighten in the crotch. Yep; it was just a normal Friday afternoon. And he didn't want it any other way.

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And just so you guys know... it's not over 'til it's over :) Keep an eye out for something pretty _super _coming soon.


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